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Last night "Desperate Housewives" returned to its ABC-TV Sunday night niche after the long writers' strike. The episode was a good one, but not the big, bang, boom one I had hoped for. More on that later.
First, a hot "DH" scoop/rumor. A couple of weeks go TV Guide published an exclusive ***spoiler alert*** that Marc Cherry is considering flashing forward five years in the "DH" timeline next season.
I think it's a great idea and it got me thinking. Instead of five years, suppose he flashed the show forward fifteen years. I can see the plots now <!--break-->
Susan and Mike are still together but dealing with the angst of their fifteen year old son, Dustin. Contrary to popular suburban culture, Dustin is an introverted computer geek but still a magnet for the ladies. Susan does all she can to keep the girls at bay, while trying to get a publisher for the children's book she's written. As for Mike, he's still a plumber extraordinaire.
Julie's married and living in McCluskey's old house. She and her banker husband, Rod want a child, but because all that chastity as a teenager made her insides shrivel up, she's now infertile. In true "DH" fashion she kidnaps a baby and hides it in the basement. It takes her husband six months to find it since the only other thing down there is the laundry room and he never, ever helps with the laundry.
Lynette and Tom are also still together. Lynette continues to be an annoying pill and Tom still has the patience of a saint. Tom runs the pizza parlor on his own since Lynette went back to advertising. She runs her own agency and continues to lord it over Tom what an incredible executive she is. Tom's only outlet is a periodic fling with an Italian waitress just in from the old country.
Carlos got his eyesight back when Gaby slept with an eye surgeon in exchange for the surgery, but then Gaby wanted the surgeon and his bank account instead of Carlos. Penniless, Carlos gets a job as a school bus driver and ends up in a one room walk up in the seedy part of town.
Edie went in for a combo lipo-suction/tummy tuck but when her alcoholic doctor turned the scalpel over to his young intern, Edie ended up in a coma. Her only visitor? The young intern who brings her roses every week out of guilt.
After Danielle comes back and regains custody of Little Ben, Bree's devastated, but she turns her disappointment into action. She and Orson launch a lifestyle TV show teaching suburban men and women the finer points proper housekeeping, cooking and grooming.
Andrew's married to a young civil rights lawyer and they spend most of their weekends on picket lines and at civil disobedience marches.
Finally, Wisteria Lane gets another black family. They're a younger couple with five kids and they move into Edie's old house. But like everyone on Wisteria Lane, they have a deep, dark secret: they're real estate agents and planning to buy out all the older residents, raze Wisteria Lane, and turn the whole development into pre-fab townhouses.
What a show that would be.
But back to the present, last night Marc Cherry teased us with clues about Katherine Mayfair's Big Secret. It seems the note Dylan found partially burned in the fireplace said something about her father being murdered. When she confronts Adam about The Secret, he lies to her, having already promised Kat that he would.
Carlos and Gaby re-married. He lied about how long he was going to be blind---he said three to four months, it's really going to be for life---and when Gaby found out, even though she swore eternal love and devotion, that didn't stop her from feeding him a dog food stew as revenge.
After Lynette's brushes with death all season long, she decided it was time to thank The Almighty. Religious humor ensues and there's a battle royal between the Catholics and the Presbyterians for the newly devout Scavos.
Susan and Julie visit a drying out, and very hot looking Mike in rehab. Meanwhile, Susan's cousin Timmy, a hard
