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So... here I still am.... PISSED OFF!!! Ok - so the ex-jerk is still not paying what he should in support which puts a HUGE strain on my finances and my ability to provide for HIS children. Why oh why can't men be better fathers and stop punishing the ex-wife through the children???
Ok - so I realize not all exes are like this, but unfortunately mine is...
On a good note, my oldest son finally called me after six months and we had a nice conversation. He is doing well and loving married life. I hope it turns out better for them than it did for me. It should, because I taught him how to be a good man and a loving husband. I hope he was paying attention.
Another thing pissing me off is the judgment I am getting from my "friends". You see I was once a die-hard fundamentalist Christian - preacher, worship leader, etc... and now these "friends" are finding it hard to reconcile themselves to my new lifestyle. (i.e. divorcing the cheating louse and having a new relationship with a MUCH younger man)
The Bible says that we have all sinned and fall short of the Glory of God (Romans 3:23).
Keeping that in mind, why are we, as Christians, so judgmental? Do we forget the words of Christ so easily???
Matthew 7:1 (Amplified): Do not judge and criticize and condemn
others, so that you may not be judged and criticized and condemned
yourselves.
I used to be very judgmental... I used to think
people were "beneath" me spiritually and that I had been blessed by God
with so much holiness that I was so much better than everyone else. NO
KIDDING! I was really like that.
However, in the last few years, God has knocked my pride and my arrogance out from under me and I fell flat on my backside.
What I was doing was just as sinful as anything else anyone else did.
I think what we forget is that a sin is a sin is a sin in the eyes of
God. We, as humans, tend to categorize sin. Murder, rape, incest,
molestation, adultery, fornication and even theft are the BIG sins,
whereas lying (a little white lie...) and gossiping and even cheating
on your taxes or a test are considered to be "small" sins and not
really all that bad... afterall... "EVERYONE DOES IT!", right?
But in God's eyes sin is sin and it's all dark and ugly and needs to be
repented of. My judgmental attitude was sin. It was just as ugly to
God as adultery is. So, I repented and asked God to forgive me and now
I try very hard not to judge. It's difficult, I'll admit, but it's
getting easier everyday.
Anyway, I am pissed off at being judged so harshly by my former friends and realizing that I must have made many other people feel as badly as I do now. I guess I'm just reaping what I sowed... karma - lol.
One of these days - maybe - people will just learn to love and accept others where they are... is that a pipe dream??? I hope not!
Peace & Love,
Lainie
