Did you know addiction is a disease? My story and My disease.

After that is when my hell truly began. That same day I went back with that guy. I was broke and needed smokes so I came up with the idea of flying a sign. I sat on a main road with my hood up and a sign over my face. The sign said Broke hungry and to proud to prostitute. I made 100$ in an hour and somehow my cigarette money turned into us having some fun. Or so I thought. He used a needle to do his drugs. That was something I had never done and never wanted to do.

We went back to that horrible efficiency appartment after we got some dope. He was going into the bathroom to get his shot ready and I went with him. I told him i wanted to do it like that too. Why did I say that? Because I am an impulsive Bi Polar drug addict who acts their life out on impulse. He tried to tell me no but i wasnt taking no for an answer. So after he did his I used the same needle and let him stick it in my arm for the first time. It was a wrap after that. Nothing has ever felt so good and nothing ever felt so good after either.

That was the begining of the end. I found out he gave me Hep C. I ended up in two mental institutions two detox's and sat in jail for 30 days all in a matter of 6 months. I attened NA meetings while I was in the Drug Court program. I realized then I was lucky. I knew what I needed to do and I knew I needed to get the right kind of help. I almost through away my entire life and put my children through what I had to go through with my mother.

Now Ive been on suboxone for almost a year and although there is lots of controversy over the use of a substitute drug, I can say it saved my life. I see a therapist once a week, I go to NA meetings and I work on all the character defects addiction gave me. I also take my daughter to see a therapist as well. Addiction is a disease. You will die from it if you are not treated and sometimes the first couple treatments dont work. Dont ever give up. You can have your life back. You will always be an addict. Just like I will always be an addict but I found something that works and so can any other addict. I hope this Blog shines some light on how quick addiction can turn bad. In active addiction I would have traded my life for one more high. Today I wouldnt trade my life with my family for anything in this world.

-The Child Of The Dawn

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