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Dieting and Weight Loss: Confessions of an Emotional Eater

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Are you an emotional eater?  If it's any consolation, you're not alone.  I have to confess ... I am an emotional eater.  When I'm upset, I eat.  When I'm stressed, I eat.  When I'm worried, I eat.  And let's be clear, these are the times I have uncontrollable urges to eat junk (candy, cookies, ice cream) -- all the stuff I know is bad for me.  I could be eating healthy for months, then something upsets me, and it's all over.

The crazy thing about being an emotional eater is that you know that eating isn't going to make what you're upset about any better, but you do it anyway.  In fact, you know that eating the junk that you're craving is actually going to contribute to making you feel worse, but you do it anyway.  You even know that once you start it's going to become a vicious cycle of craving, eating, and then feeling guilty about it.  Even so, you still do it.  Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result? Maybe so, but I still try not to be too hard on myself when this happens to me.  I sometimes think it's worse when I try to fight the urge to eat through my emotions, it just seems to make my cravings even stronger.

Emotional eating is something we do in an attempt to suppress negative feelings in our life.   There are many triggers that accompany emotional eating, here are a few ...

  • Relationship or marital problems
  • Financial worries
  • Unemployment
  • Health problems of your own or family member
  • Stress at work
  • Bad weather
  • Fatigue or lack of sleep

So what's an emotional eater to do?  This is what I try to do ...

I try to recognize what it is that's upsetting me.  Is it a big problem or a little problem?  Is it something I can make better, or is it totally out of my control?  Is there a way I can look at what's troubling me and see a silver lining in it somewhere?

For me the reason isn't what's important, it's more about acknowledging that there is a reason, and then giving myself the permission to eat the thing that I'm craving.  Yes, you heard right.  I don't fight my craving, I actually give in to it.  Doing this gives me a degree of control over my emotional eating.  This way, after I eat whatever I think it is that will make me feel better, and it doesn't help (cause it never does), I can at least stop the cycle by not feeling guilty about it.

Don't let the emotional eating control you.  Instead, make an attempt to control the emotional eating.  Before you blindly go through the kitchen or supermarket and put every sugar-filled item you can find into your mouth.  Take a moment and make a quick plan by asking yourself a few questions.

What are you going to eat?

M&M's?  Chocolate chip cookies?  Brownies?  Ice cream?  Ice cream topped with M&M's, chocolate chip cookies, and brownies?

How much are you going to allow yourself to eat?  Putting a limit on it is key.

Is it going to be a one pound bag of M&Ms?  Is there a chance that half the bag might be enough?

How are you going to comfort yourself when eating this stuff doesn't make you feel better?

A quiet bath?  A walk?  A swim?  A good book?  Take some time for yourself that doesn't include food.

Then, after you put this bout of emotional eating behind you, make a conscious effort to eat as healthy as you can for the next few days (longer if possible).  And if you're feeling like your emotional eating is happening too often, try journaling what you're eating and why.  Make sure you journal the days that you eat healthy too, you might notice you actually feel better on those days.  It's all about awareness.

So that's what I think.  Here is some of what other bloggers are saying about emotional eating ...

From New Jersey Moms Blog - In Defense of Emotional

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knic@comcast.net 5 pts

Richard

Focusing on what you do or do not eat to control or lose weight is like trying to fly by flapping your arms. Better to focus on the stress of the emotion whether it be frustration, happiness, upset, anger, joy and learn to take it straight rather than diluting with food.

Yes, 95% of all diets and eating programs fail. Why? For a free report please go to http:EmotionalEatingCure.com

Catherine Morgan 5 pts

Thanks for your comment Tracey...I'm happy you liked the post.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
Also at Catherine-Morgan.com ( http://catherine-morgan.com/ )

RBSukol 5 pts

Roxanne Sukol MD "Your Health is on Your Plate"

Here are a few thoughts on portion control from my post called "Eat When You're Hungry, Stop Just Before You're Full." As if.

( http://yourhealthisonyourplate.com/ )

Catootes 5 pts

These are great tips, thanks. I'm am emotional eater myself and reach for the empty calories when feeling particularly stressed, usually cake-like chocolate substances.

I think I'll take these and paste them onto the refridgerator door for the next time I reach in for the chocolate fix.

Tracey

Catherine Morgan 5 pts

Hi Margaret...Thanks for sharing. I guess since we can never really control our emotions, we can never really expect to get our emotional eating "totally" under control...But we can find better ways to manage.

Thanks for commenting.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
Also at Catherine-Morgan.com ( http://catherine-morgan.com/ )

Catherine Morgan 5 pts

Deprivation is never a good thing. Thanks for commenting.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
Also at Catherine-Morgan.com ( http://catherine-morgan.com/ )

Just_Margaret 5 pts

That is so me--carbs are my companion when I'm emotional. There comes a point though, where if I'm completely down-in-the-dumps, with a black cloud following me, I don't eat at all.

I haven't found a great way to manage that--I sort of let it ride until I'm on the upswing (or nauseated from over-eating). I'm looking forward to reading the replies.

~Margaret

Just Margaret ( http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com )

midnightbliss 5 pts

i usually have cravings when I am upset, but i noticed that the more i deprive myself, the more i crave. what i do is just give in but makes sure to burn the calories that i have eaten afterwards. sometimes its so weird that I am craving for something that I don't know what, and i end up eating different foods until i can find that something that i am craving for.

Catherine Morgan 5 pts

Thanks Suzanne, I'm so happy you liked the post. Your jeans may be unforgiving, but I'll bet your thesis will thank you.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
Also at Catherine-Morgan.com ( http://catherine-morgan.com/ )

Catherine Morgan 5 pts

Thanks Jenna. I love what you said in your comment...

Oh, this isn't great. But tomorrow IS a new day.

So true...And it's really a mantra for life not just food. Thanks for sharing your story.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
Also at Catherine-Morgan.com ( http://catherine-morgan.com/ )

Suzanne 5 pts

I know it is rude to write in all caps, but I LOVE THESE TIPS!!!! I give myself permission to eat what I crave, too, but I love the next steps you outline. I think this will help me get a little more control over my emotional eating binging.

I've been finishing my thesis for my MFA, and all I do is eat. Stress and eat. Worse, because I'm sitting at a desk at work all day, and writing in my free time, I am not getting very much exercise. I've gained about 5 lbs. and lost tone. I've forgiven myself for getting flabbier, even if my jeans, skirts, and pants haven't.

Great, great post.

Suzanne also blogs at Campaign for Unshaved Snatch (CUSS) & Other Rants ( http://cussandotherrants.com ) and is the author of Off the Beaten (Subway) Track ( http://offthebeatensubwaytrack.com ).

JennaHatfield 10 pts

I celebrated my birthday on Sunday, which was actually great! But then I learned some really not great news about my family! And yesterday my Grandma was scheduled for an emergency biopsy! GUESS WHO ATE THE REST OF HER BIRTHDAY CUPCAKES?!

The good news is that I didn't freak out. I knew what was going on. Today, I ate my normal healthy breakfast. I went for my run. I had a great, healthy lunch. I'll eat decently for supper. I'll drink all of my water. Life will go on.

I used to get hung up on my bouts of emotional eating. Mainly because I don't purge anymore, as I did all through college. So, once I "got healthy" (which is a discussion in itself and an forever process) and I still had occasional emotional binges, I felt panicked AND guilty. Thrilling. I'm pleased that I have found a place where I can recognize, "Oh, this isn't great. But tomorrow IS a new day." Today is a new day. And, really, the next minute is a new minute. It's weird having to learn these things as an adult but I'm also proud of myself.

This post is really quite wonderful. Favoriting now.

Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )), from Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ), is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

Catherine Morgan 5 pts

Thanks...I'm happy that you liked the post.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
Also at Catherine-Morgan.com ( http://catherine-morgan.com/ )

Catherine Morgan 5 pts

There have been times when I've been soooo upset that I couldn't eat (although they are few and far between)...But I know what you mean about having to force yourself to eat when you're not hungry, it's not easy.

Thanks for commenting.

Contributing Editor Catherine Morgan
Also at Catherine-Morgan.com ( http://catherine-morgan.com/ )

DivorceCandy 5 pts

I think the key is putting a limit on what you are going to eat. That is a great point. If I give in to my craving, I always eat the whole thing, usually an entire pint of ice cream. I also like the idea of already having something else to do when the emotional eating doesn't fix what's going on. Some other type of stress reliever or relaxing activity.

sassymonkey 6 pts moderator

When I'm emotional, stressed, etc I do not eat. I have to force myself to eat. I have to tell myself that food is fuel and I need to be fueled to deal with whatever it is that is going on. I freaking hate forcing myself to eat but I do it.
I'm getting better at recognizing my stress factors and generally anticipating when it's going to happen. And I'm better at dealing with it when it does happen.
It still sucks.

Contributing Editor Sassymonkey also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).