The Difference Between Women and State Legislators is One of Us Understands the Meaning of Autonomy

Oh you silly state legislators. Are you feeling OK? You’ve had a busy couple of weeks. Maybe you should lie down. Frankly, you seem a bit fuzzy and confused. Are you sure there is enough oxygen in that chamber of yours? You know, the chamber we the people pay for.

I only ask because you seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time working to limit the rights of your constituency, specifically the females.

(The females are the ones who are about to kick your asses, by the way).

Really, we’re all very concerned with your well-being, oh mighty legislators who seem to forget they are in a temp job. A few of you could definitely use a long break if not a career change. Your myopia is becoming quite serious. Perhaps you should see a doctor.

Oh, wait…I’m sorry, due to new regulations it seems there are no doctors available in your area that are allowed to treat cases of sticking your head up your ass, especially after all this time. If only you had decided not to be such dicks a littler earlier, then, with a great deal of counseling and uninvited probing, we might have been able to help you. Now, well, you’re just going to have to live with it.

(Pssst. As a woman I can hook you up. Here, come into this back alley and I’ll pull your head out your ass with this tool I fashioned from some things I found in my closet. The “procedure” will only cost you $200.00—CASH. And I make no guarantees. And it might hurt. And you might bleed out. And you might never be able to sit down again. It sucks, I know--welcome to the world of moderated and unfairly regulated rights.)

The hypocrisy of legislators dictating the when, where, and how reproductive healthcare can be doled out paired with the free bullets for everyone polices makes my head spin. And when Texas, a state where a death row inmate is executed every three weeks, tries to hold itself up as a beacon of LIFE, I want to scream. And when a Governor stands up and tells us he knows better than all of us women how to best handle our ovaries I want to fight that much harder, especially when that Governor is a coward and only has the balls to stand up in a room where he knows everyone agrees with him.

It would be funny if it weren’t so true.

These leaders are so terrified of women and our right to choose that in lieu of tying our hands behind our backs in a violent act of force they have resorted to tying the hands of the very medical community we would call upon in a time of need.

Of course.  Makes perfect sense.

If that woman won’t have that baby (and we don’t care one iota about her “special circumstances”) then she doesn’t deserve unencumbered access to healthcare.

Brilliant. Bravo. You’ve succeeded in turning the pro-life movement into a death trap. That takes a special kind of head up your ass-ness.

Listen up. Women are not asking for permission to be autonomous. We are autonomous. We’ve been so from the beginning. We’ve proven we can and will take things into our own hands. And you, legislators, who hide behind gavels and parliamentary procedures, had better be ready.


Read more from K.M. O'Sullivan at


In order to comment on, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Recent Posts by KellyMOSullivan