Recently someone I love very much disappointed me. This of course is a given. If you ever have a relationship with anyone at some point they will disappoint you and make you angry.
This does not mean they don’t love you, it means they are human. In my disappointment I try to remember that I too have disappointed people. I didn’t set out to hurt the ones I love and neither did my loved one.
How we respond to disappointment is our choice. Our response is important. It can allow a person to recognize their mistake and to make amends or it can cause a rift. In understanding that a mistake is a learning moment, not intended to hurt, but rather a moment where you can clarify thoughts and feelings, a moment to learn to show grace and forgiveness, if we just let it.
Showing grace and forgiveness does not mean that there are not consequences to actions. Indeed it is important that there are consequences. That’s how we learn. When our children disappoint by making a bad choice, part of the learning is in the consequence. Sometimes, it is in the disappointing of someone that makes the biggest impact.
I hope those I care about know that when they disappoint me, even though I am upset with them, I still love them. I am not one to yell and scream when I am upset. One thing I have learned over the years is to listen and then take time to think about what they told me. So that when I respond, it is not out of hurt or anger.
When it’s all said and done, I want people to remember that they could talk to me. Even when the topic was hard or unpleasant, that I could be a person of reason, and that I was a place of comfort and forgiveness. I think if more people could talk about their disappointments and hurts there would be less of them. And wouldn’t that be great!