Divine Intervention

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It’s Friday! So let’s have some fun, shall we?

I read quite a few blogs in these here e-streets. Several of them are written by single or relatively unattached Black men who are doling out relationship advice to us ladies. You’ve read them I’m sure. Chuckled. Rolled your eyes. Keep coming back for more. And it seems that a recurring theme is that men will commit

a. when it’s time

b. when it’s the right woman

c. because he’s finally good and grown

d. because you waited til the 4th and a half date to give it up

e.because he’s lonely

f. because it’s a day that ends in ‘y’

The reasons are endless…

But the glimmer of hope is there and the carrot it is constantly dangled: Black women a Black man will commit….someday. Just give him some time!

Wellllllll….Yesterday Urban Guerrilla sent me this article. Go read it. In my Katt Williams’ voice, “Don’t worry. I’ll wait.” *Whistles Andy Griffith theme song…”

Did you read it?

No.

Seriously. Go read it. *Hums Golden Girls theme song and starts polishing my nails…*

If you didn’t read it here are the highlights:

A man recently married his deceased girlfriend in a combination funeral and wedding ceremony.

Chadil Deffy, also known as Deff Yingyuen, placed a ring on the finger of Sarinya “Anne” Kamsook, his girlfriend of 10 years, during the ceremony in Thailand’s Surin province.

The couple had planned to get married in the future, but Yingyuen wanted to focus on his studies before tying the knot, the Thai-Asean News (TAN) Network reported.

Unfortunately, Kamsook unexpectedly died in an accident before the couple could set a date.

Chadil wrote matter-of-factly online — and would later give interviews in the same vein — explaining that the motivation for this display was guilt, pure and simple: He felt he hadn’t done enough for his girlfriend of 10 years while she was alive. Before her sudden death in a road accident, she had suggested that he marry her. But he had demurred, putting the idea on hold.

Do you see this ladies?!!?! Do you see this?!!? There is hope! Lord Jesus, yes there is hope! God answers prayers!

Fret not single Black woman that the world simultaneously mocks, mourns and misunderstands all at the same time. If you’ve ever had to hear a dude say he liked you but couldn’t be in a relationship right now because he had to get himself together mentally, physically, financially and spiritually. If you stood on the sidelines and watched your ex marry someone else and wanted to bust through the church house like Vesta.  If you damn near cried, begged pleaded for a ring, wellllll chile, you may not get married in this lifetime but someday, as your spirit rises,  if you are lucky enough and have a man who really, truly cares for you but he just didn’t get the chance to adequately show you, well just hang on long enough (maybe get hit by a bus) so that you will have the chance to walk around heaven all day in your long white robe, with your crown on your head and a diamond ring on that left finger! Gyeah! That is the dream!

I mean clearly when Beyonce said if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it, she needed to clarify…

I mean while I’m still alive, sir.

But seriously, it’s the least this dude could do right? Give her what I’m sure she had been begging for whilst she was living and breathing.

I, for one, if I ever get the glorious opportunity to get my Chrissy on (see how I made that a verb) and give a man an inordinate amount of my time and love while he drags his feet about marrying me and “figures” things out mayhap with other women, well then when the time finally comes (even if I’m dead) I would like the chance to be like

BAM!!

 

And shimmy shake with my wings on as I shove my rock in those other angel bishes faces who died the tragic death of the single, lonely, bitter Black women…all because they didn’t want to put in the time.

Tsk tsk. They missed out on a good thing. Shoulda held on!

And you know, you just know that some woman is going to find this  whole thing endearing and this dude is going to get himself some new vajay-jay with the quickness. Like ohhh you didn’t get the chance to propose? To wed? And so you made it up to her when she was dead? You are soo sweet. Well now that you got your life together…maybe we can?

And that’s when I would come back and haunt his ass. Plain and simple. Swing open closed doors. Hang from the rafters and cause cold breezes that leave him shivering. Leave that damned ring on the pillow so he awoke to it every morning. Maybe whisper in my best Eddie Ka-ing Jr.’s voice, in the new chick’s ear, “how does it feel to be me?”

And then after an appropriate time of haunting, I would file for divorce and get me a new fine boo in heaven who is not afraid to commit. Who has no career to work on. Who has finally gotten himself together on the spiritual tip. And who knows that I ain’t going nowhere. And neither is he.

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