DIY Obituaries

Okay, I've started reading the obituaries. Not looking for friends or relatives, just noticing some patterns. I think they give the obit writers some fill-in-the blank forms so they cover all the bases, like age, nickname, survivors, funeral arrangements.

For example, they might start with name (Modine Gunch), nickname (Meemaw), age (97), survivors (3 children) and funeral arrangements (Blissful Pastures Inc.). It would be more  interesting if they let the friends or relatives do the job. Name (Modine Wilson Jackson Smith nee  Gunch; she wore out and outlived a few husbands.) Nickname (Pooter, Old Yackety Yak, Klepto.) Age (no one knows, maybe they can count the rings during the autopsy.) Survivors (None, she outlived them all.) Funeral arrangements (TBA, if anybody gets around to it)

Probably wouldn't hurt to write your own, instead of leaving it to the whim of some hack writer or your distant relatives who outlived you. Puff it up a little, like you used to do on your resume. Who's going to call you on it?

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