"Do the Right Thing"

So after being off on maternity leave I was visiting my office and showing off my new little man to co-workers. Of course, I had the usual questions like "How are you feeling?" "Hasn't it gone by fast?" "Are you ready to come back?" etc. But in the midst of all of these one of my male co-workers asked me if I would be returning to work soon or would choose to become a stay-at-home mom. And I promptly responded that I would be returning to work.  He instantly replied "Well, I know you'll do the right thing."

One little comment, just one short but direct phrase, threw me into such a state of maternal paranoia and panic! While smiling on the outside, I was simultaneoulsy freaking out in my head wondering if I was doing the wrong thing?!?!  Was I a bad mother for (gasp) WANTING to return to work? I mean, don't get me wrong, I was loving my bonding time at home with my son. But I was also missing the constant interaction and busy world of Marketing and running my own program, not to mention adult conversation.  

 Why is it that parents do this?  If you read Inforum's latest report on 'The New Mom' this is suppossed to be one of the best times to be a working mom.  We are suppossedly benefitting from years of adapting into euqal status both as being a mother at home, and a woman in the workplace.  I agree with all of the descriptions of this new mom" report, all while thanking women who for years having been balancing being a working mom.  So why did this co-worker make me feel so small and guilty for my response.  True, it could have meant nothing at all, but still...

Either way, I cam back to work after being off for six and a half weeks, and although I have a few moments of doubt, and definitely miss my son, and all of his life changes that I am missing while working, I know I am where I belong.  I may never master the balance of that seemingly unattainable status of being a "Super-mom".  For now, though, I congratulate all of the Stay- at-Home moms-that is truly a HUGE undertaking and one not meant for me, and I will continue to be a Mom in training, doing what I can to be the best mom for my son.  

Jacob sleeping as a newborn Courtesy of my private photo gallery

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