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The internet is changing us. It is changing the way we define the self. In my day-to-day interactions I do not share intimate details of my life. Yet on my blog I publicize these personal stories, sharing them with people who are arguably more unknown to me than co-workers or whoever else I meet in “real” life. There is a view that uploading lots of photos of yourself to a social network or blogging intimate details of your life is narcissistic or shallow. But I think that the Internet is allowing for multifaceted, deeper ways to present ourselves and connect with others.
Your imagination, aesthetics, thoughts and dreams cannot totally be discovered by a casual first meeting. But with the internet we can learn a lot about each other and ourselves. I think the internet allows us to embrace the many selves within. This idea of multiple selves is something that is best described by the psychological model of Internal Family Systems (IFS or the “mecosystem”). According to the official website, the IFS Model views a person as “containing an ecology of relatively discrete minds, each of which has valuable qualities and each of which is designed for, and wants to play a valuable role.” In other words, you are made up of lots of different parts, each of which may have it’s own distinct tastes, perspectives and personalities. Whether it’s through blogging or a profile on a social network, the internet can allow us to better reflect our inner world, to explore the many different parts of our personalities in a way that day to day interactions don’t allow for.
I think a notion exists that when one plays with a persona online that they are being “fake.” But honestly, I have never looked someone up online after meeting them and thought their internet persona didn’t fit. If anything the person I met in real life made more sense after seeing them online.
A parade of persona’s is what makes social networking interesting. In a way you get to interact with the best parts of people. A lot of the burdens of real life like social awkwardness, defenses and embarrassment are minimized. When chatting online you are allowed more time for responses, you get to edit what you are going to say, or can use google if you don’t know an answer or obscure reference. I think it can actually enrich our interactions.
To some this may seem like a bad thing, like you are being yourself without your “flaws.” You have control over how you want to be seen and I think it is efficient and interesting. I think a very “90’s -Mom” idea still exists of “but you can be lying online, you can be anyone on the ‘cyberspace’.” Sure you can lie about your age or what you do…but you can also tell a lot about someone by their internet presence. We make these judgments instantly when we decide whose friend requests we will confirm or deny.
A few months ago Steven Levy wrote a piece for Wired about Twitter. The story centered on the guilt he felt with social networking. “The more I upload the details of my existence the more I worry about giving away too much.” As a blogger I can relate to this. When I share those intimate details of my life it is always with a purpose in mind. I ask myself why am I posting this, what do I hope people will get out of this? I think that knowing there is a responsibility with what you share is key.
Would it be too cliche to now ask, what did people do before the Internet? Growing up in a small town in the middle of nowhere, my peers’ interests were nearly the same as the 80-year-old men sitting on their front lawns: they enjoyed fishing, hunting, church and binge drinking cans of Keystone Light. This was not going to work for me. The internet allowed my teenage self to learn, to discover music and culture, to waste my time on forums and pre-Etsy sites where girls hawked their finicky jewelry. I think there is a resistance to how we interact and present ourselves online because our idea of self-identity and how we interact is changing. We are moving quite fast into this new realm and change is scary. But ultimately, I think there is nothing to fear. The internet cannot hide your identity, but I
