Do You Have The Power To Forgive?

These past couple months have been a living hell for me and my family. It must end and me being the one to end it seems to be the only way out. I prayed to God for a final goodbye to my past and he spoke loud and clear. I am going to share with you my final words and how to start a new beginning. Following is part of a letter I wrote to the pitiful man who claimed to be my father. I am free! Amen!!! I am writing this letter since hearing that you would like to see us and the kids. There are things I need to hear myself say to you for they will be the last of me you will ever have. You molested and tortured me as a child and did so with no conscience for 30 some odd years. It started on an Island where you would do to me as you pleased. Then you lived in a basement. This is when the true terror began. You used us for your own personal desires. There is a reason it stopped when it did. You and I know what that is. There was never any regret in your eyes. My brother would not have admitted to me what he and I did to each other as children if it weren't true, because he knew we learned it from you. We molested eachother and your dirty little secret is out. IT IS OVER! You have no where to run and hide. You are the devil and everything he represents. First, I am going to tell you that you were lucky, but you will pay for your sins, not from me but by God Himself. He who layeth with own child for perversion and pleasures are forbidden by God, and you will reside in and of fire and brimstone for all eternity. This is my gift to you. You will feel the wrath of my true father, The Lord in Christ. You were never my father nor do you deserve such a title, and it will be known by all. You are a man who is weak and you have violated the trust given to you by God. Your punishment I pray is eye for an eye. You were able to cause pain and suffering in a child’s life but move on without any repercussions. The terror and pain you caused me was a mere chapter in your life. I know that you will deny what you did to me when talking to others, but you cannot pretend with me. I am the one you violated. I am the one you betrayed. I am the one who remembers. You cannot run away from me or God. We know the truth, no matter what you tell others or say to yourself. I lost my faith in The Lord because I could not understand why I was given up for adoption and placed in such evil hands. My faith is restored and you better believe that my anger towards you is one to be feared! If you dare try to have contact with the child that you hurt, there are first some things you need to know. When that chapter in your life was over, and you couldn’t touch me again, you moved on. But your actions had a huge impact on the rest of my childhood. Your actions gave me anger that a child/adolescent should never have to feel. You gave me fear that only children who have been traumatized have. You gave me nightmares every night for years. I would wake up screaming in terror, trying to escape the monster in my dream that, even at a young age, I always knew was you. You trampled my trust for any man or boy to enter my life. You gave me a temper that led me to harm others as well as myself. Due to your actions, I suffered with depression until college that, on occasion, almost led me to end my own life. Even when times seemed to be good, a simple trigger would give me a flashback, sending me right back to when and where all the fears began. You took away my childhood. You took away my mother’s chance to play and have fun with her only daughter during what was supposed to be a happy, free and playful time in our lives. You took away my chance to have what other kids have, a protective, loving, supportive and respected father. You took away my time to learn and develop respectful and appropriate relationships with others. You left a child with nothing but fear, anger and confusion to grow and develop with. You did not just molest me until I was 13, you damaged my life in ways that you cannot even begin to, and never will, understand. Sadly, you are not the only man to do this, or something like it, to his child. But I want you to know that I came out on the positive end compared to what could have happened, and that is thanks to my mom. Hear me when I say, do not be mistaken, I did not forgive you because I feel you deserve everything that is coming to you. People like you do not change and given the chance, I firmly believe that you would harm another defenseless little girl. I did not forgive you because I feel your forgiveness is not mine to give. The only way I would feel that justice had been served would be if you were in prison and experiencing my terror and pain till you take your last breath. It is because the anger, fear and sadness are a distraction and something I do not deserve to have. I let the pain and suffering you caused me run my life. It was time to let that all go and find the emotions and feelings that truly make up who I am deep inside. I am not your child and you made that very clear by your actions. I survived a traumatic experience and violation by you, and came out an amazing, smart, driven, kind and beautiful woman. However, you do not get to claim me and my success. I did this on my own, and intend to use what I have learned to seek justice. You did not break me or ruin my life for I have taken it back and you and all you stand for is evil, and that I will not tolerate within my home or around my family and friends. You will not have my present or future. I will never welcome your apology as you only need to pray for Gods acceptance of that. Do not contact me or anybody in my family. I am very firm about this. You shall not ever in anyway shape or form contact me or my family ever again. There are to be no phone calls, letters, emails or any of the such. I will seek action against you if you defy my wishes. I pray God forgives you, but if he doesn't, it will be well deserved. This has been brought on by yourself and anyone who doesnt know the real you, I apologize for their pain. Only the innocent will see my pain and therefore your loss is my gain. Welcome to your own personal hell! By the way I know your real names...good luck to you both as you will be needing it! Sincerely, The Niche Witch

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