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I honestly wasn't sure what it would be like to be back in South Florida for my 20-year high school reunion. During film school in North Florida and for years after I moved to L.A. I struggled with horrible homesickness. Right before the reunion it had finally dulled, but I wondered if finally taking a trip home would bring it all rushing back. Which I was pretty sure I couldn't bear.
And what would my friends be like? Grown-up. So many married. So many houses. So many with children.
You know what? It was fine. Good even. I didn't really fit there anymore (if I ever did), but I loved seeing my friends, we had a great time, and I still love South Florida.
I hardly even saw any children, except in pictures. Only those of a good friend whose place my boyfriend and I stayed at, and they were adorable. Of course, they gravitated right to my boyfriend. They totally had my number. I look at children like I'm discovering a strange new animal. So small, and they walk and talk, too!
Interestingly, though, what I find myself thinking about since I left are people I totally didn't even see during my visit. Parents. Older people.
Role models. Support systems. Family. Most of my friends in South Florida live their lives surrounded by family.
I am somewhat aware that this exists in L.A. for many people, but I rarely come in direct contact with it, and it's definitely not part of my regular life. It's hard to plant new roots here, though I like to imagine myself digging my fingers into the ground, demanding it let me in.
But it's the role model and daily support aspects of nearby family that I sometimes consider with what can only be described as growing wonder. I'm sure so many of you have this, and it's just completely normal. Well, give someone a hug today, because I can't even imagine what it's really like.
In particular, as it relates to relationships. How many stories have I read or seen where a couple hits a bumpy patch and people in their lives work to hold the relationship together? Share their wisdom about life and love. Give perspective and support. Often, family leads by example. Provides strength simply by being around and being together.
And OK, I paint in my mind a somewhat rosy and idealized picture, but how often have I felt, when my relationship gets rocky, the deep wish that there was someone older and wiser to help us. Someone that was on *our* side. Who respected us as a couple and was wise enough to speak to what's truly important in life.
To share any morsel of wisdom that comes from experience.
OK, I'm off in a bit of a storyland here, where if only I was surrounded by parental units (and above), my own personal relationships would be stronger. And that's a little silly, I suppose.
But it is also a little strange to never be around people's parents ever. To never have those relationships to look to as potential examples you can learn from. That's what I think of when I think of South Florida. That back where I'm from there are so many people who regularly see their parents and their friends' parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles.
And that's got to provide some powerful perspective. At least, it seems that way from the I-have-no-actual-idea seats.
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Linky Goodness:
Who Are Your Relationship Role Models? (Don't miss the comment thread!)
Online couples: You are on your own!
Happiness, Misery, and Relationships.
Are Your Friends Hurting Your Relationship?
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Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.
