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Do you support giving birth to child with Down’s syndrome? 80% of all women and 50% of men do.

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I have never been one of those women who thought life
without child is incomplete, but lately I have been having second thoughts. I
certainly love children, and have three nephews and nieces with whom I get
along so well that I am the coolest aunt for them. But by now, almost all my
friends have had their first child. It is likely that by the time I settle down
with a life partner, I will be creeping close to ceiling age limits for having
a child. My biggest fear then would be what if the docs fail to detect issues
in pregnancy that could possibly lead to a child with genetic issues? Now I
know that life can serve you many things… including becoming disabled later in life even
if you are born healthy… I am ok dealing
with that, but I am just not ok dealing with knowingly bringing out someone who
may not have a complete life.

 

But my strong opinion here were shaken a little bit
recently to the point of almost. I recently posted this opinion on Minekey, a place for you to post your
opinions and get instant feedback from the community (controversial opinion
certainly get more limelight!). My opinion was “I do not support giving birth to a
child with Down's Syndrome. He/she will never have a normal independent life
anyway.
” I got 450 votes and 38% disagreed with it with some very strong comments here… many people who
commented on this board had indeed worked with children with Down’s Syndrome
and spoke form experience – and talked about how much potential these children
have. But what’s more interesting was
the divide between men and women on this topic. Almost 80% of all women who voted on this opinion
had disagreed, but surprisingly only 50% of men had agreed
… hmmmmm. Now that was very interesting stats for me. So
men and women do indeed think differently on Pro-Life subjects??? If you would like to have a look at the how
men and women voted, you can click here.

 

I am certainly reconsidering my opinion. Based on so many
other people’s feedback and stories I think it was an eye opener for me about
how much of a normal life some of the children’s with genetic issues can lead.
I also think that life is not black or white. Perhaps without being pregnant myself,
I cannot speak aloud about what actions I might take if caught in same
situation.

 

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Southerngirl 5 pts

I am pro choice and very much so.  But the thing for me would be the what ifs.  I know how wrong docs can be. My dad was not supposed to live more than 24 hrs after his amputation and lived 8 yrs and had 2 more heart attacks and another amputation with the same prognosis, to finally die peacfully without even being sick.  My sister was going to die because they had no idea what was even wrong with her.  The chick is going strong 8 yrs later.  My middle son was supposed to be a girl.  If I were to choose not to have that child I would never be able to shake the what if the test was wrong feeling.  Then there is the fact that I have children not all of which are planned.  When I got pregnant with my daughter I thought my life as I knew it would end.  She is 5 and I cannot even remember those worries of not having enough.  She is just so delightful that the thought of not having her around is unbareable. 

I think the differnce between men and women would be the emotional.  We tend to look at things from a gut standpoint.  We can get thorough just about anything, after all it is our kid.  For a man I think it is the financial and practical implications that make them worry.

Michelle

I blog at http://www.mommycan.blogspot.com/

kazari 5 pts

Until you've lived a situation like that, you don't know what your response will be.  People with Downs Syndrome can live full and fulfilling lives - but like anything, there are prices to pay.

An issue you didn't really mention is the impact on a family.  My mother works with children with disabilities (many much more severe than Downs).  Almost all the parents are separated.  And this seems to be more prevalent in cases where there are other children involved. 

I think there must be many heart-breaking decisions to make, if only because you'd be making hard decisions for others.