Do You Want Real Moving Tips You Can Use? Look Elsewhere.

I have been absent from my blog for about a week due to all of the lovely stuff that goes with moving to a new house.  We are finally surrounded by boxes settled and to make myself useful, I have collected some pearls of wisdom about moving that might help those of you who are about to embark on the same journey (or just a list of B.S. to passively whine and amuse myself).

  • 27 rolls of tape are NEVER enough
  • Our miscellaneous cord box rivals the world’s largest ball of twine.
  • 3 consecutive days of McDonald’s breakfast will NOT turn you into that guy from Supersize Me.
  • Confusion about your unit number can be solved simply by walking up the street to the post office in a small town.  They WILL look at you funny when you tell them you are there to find out where you live.
  • Pawning your kids off on relatives for the entirety of the move sounds like a great idea and IS a great idea.
  • Fries and Blizzards for dinner on Moving Night Eve are a good idea (and don’t have to be explained to kids who have been pawned 0ff > see previous bullet)
  • Stocking both houses involved in the move with paper products will not count since said paper products will disappear mysteriously upon needing them.
  • Scheduling your move-in day a month in advance has the added benefit of being able to control mother nature into ensuring that the temperature that day will be 96 or higher.
  • If the electricity at your new house has not been turned on when you arrive, you will call and beg the nice lady at the power company. Urgency will escalate x10 with each 10 minute period that passes after 3 pm and each degree over 90 the outside of the outside temperature.
  • The previous tenant/owner will not have been as fastidious about their grout as you might have liked them to be.
  • If the last time your house had internet service was 1999, the cable company may have to make a house call or take a DeLorean back to 1999 to document how people lived without internet service for 15 years.
  • One or more of your movers will be wearing way to much cologne upon arrival.  Don’t worry, he will have sweated it off to a faint whiff within 30 minutes.
  • After the cost of blankets, tape and shrink-wrap, the movers net about $26.
  • Four 125 pound men are 1,000 times stronger than one 135 pound woman.(bonus tip:  I may have taken 4 years of Spanish, but I don’t know shit).
  • Shrink wrap is not just for leftovers.
  • Unpacking your play room toys will be like Christmas for the 4 and under crowd, who have completely forgotten any toy packed more than a week and a half ago.
  • If a nice lady calls you during a move and asks you to donate blood an hour away on a future date, you just might agree due to heat exhaustion and fatigue.
  • A week off of blogging is not enough for a move to be successful AND Blogging will win over helping unpack – just ask my husband who is rifling through things ALONE in search of the giant ball of miscellaneous cords.

Cheers,

Susan Maccarelli

Blogger: Pecked To Death By Chickens

 

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