Does A Bad Kisser = Bad Sex?

“You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.” -Gone With The Wind

Image via Pinterest. Follow my board, More Than Words

Image via Pinterest. Follow my board, More Than Words


The other day I was giving a private English class, when my student told me about a problem she’s having with a new guy she’s seeing.  I tell people I’m an English teacher, however the reality is that on most days, I’m also a relationship counselor.   In my defense, I teach words which every woman should know such as: foreplay (preliminares) and cuddling(mimos).

The problem as she explained it to me, was that he’s a bad kisser. “Bad? Like how?” I asked her.  ”He kisses like a school boy, with soft pecks on the lips. It’s as if he doesn’t know how to use his tongue.”

“Hmm, well maybe he was nervous.  I’ve had bad first kisses with people who turned out to be great kissers,” I offered.

“No, I’ve kissed him many times now, it’s him. It’s how he kisses.”

Generally speaking, a bad kisser is usually an automatic red flag.  Do not pass go, a free get out of my bed card, if you will.  It may seem trifle, but kissing someone is like a relationship test drive.  ”You wouldn’t buy a car without taking it out for a spin, well it’s should be the same for men. You shouldn’t sleep with a guy who you know is a bad kisser. It just doesn’t bode well,”  I told her.  Except, she had already slept with him–twice! And apparently, the sex wasn’t bad. He was well equipped and could go all night.  ”It wasn’t exactly as passionate as I’d have liked, but it got the job done,” she said.

“How does that work?” I asked.  Personally, kissing is something I need in order to get in the mood.  More than that, it’s something I need on a daily basis in order to feel connected to my partner. Though small, kissing is actually a big part of relationships.  In every long-term relationship there comes a time when sex is not an everyday thing and instead, an every week thing.  Just because passion fades doesn’t mean intimacy has to, which is why kissing is so important.

Maybe my theory on kissing being a test drive isn’t perfect.  Maybe you can have decent if not good sex with someone who’s a bad kisser.  Maybe all he needs is a little guidance. Anything’s possible.  However, as I told my student, when it comes to relationships it’s not about skill but rather knowing yourself.  For me, it doesn’t matter how good the sex is; I can’t go without my kisses.  The question you have to ask yourself is, can you?

Would you continue to date or sleep with a bad kisser ladies? Tweet me.


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