Blog
Zandria.us
Bio
Hi! My name is Zandria, and I live in Washington, DC. I wrote for BlogHer.com for over three years (on topics related to single life and online datin...
 
 
 
 

What’s Hot on BlogHer.com

Does Having Unrealistic Expectations Keep You From Achieving Your Goals?

  • Share This Post
  • submit
  • 7
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

If you’ve ever made fitness goals and looked for advice on how to keep them, you’ve undoubtedly seen the phrase "Set realistic expectations." The problem is, doesn’t it sort of cause your eyes to glaze over? That’s what happens to me when I read it. When we hear the same advice over and over, and we already know it’s true, and we take it for granted, there’s no way it can continue to have the same impact as it once did.

When it comes to making changes in our fitness routine -- whether the goal is to lose weight, get stronger, lose inches, or all of the above -- unless we’ve undertaken some kind of super hard-core training regimen, there’s no way we’re going to see drastic results simply because we’ve been eating a little less and moving a little more. This is why, just a little over a month into the new year, people are already starting to loosen up a bit on those original fitness goals.

The thing is, for most people in most everyday situations, there’s no such thing as quick results. A recent New York Times article spoke to that fact:

“To make a change in how you look, you are talking about a significant period of training,” [kinesiology professor] Dr. Kraemer said. “In our studies it takes six months to a year.” And, he added, that is with regular strength-training workouts, using the appropriate weights and with a carefully designed individualized program. “That is what the reality is,” he said.

If you give up too soon, you’re doing yourself a disservice. After all, if results were so easy to accomplish, wouldn’t everyone be doing it? We’d all walk around looking like the models on the covers of fitness magazines -- six-pack abs, taut thighs, and perfectly toned arms. But where’s the glory in easy achievement? At least the people who successfully reach their fitness goals can look back on the long hours spent in a gym, or running on a sidewalk, or doing whatever activity they choose, and know for sure that they earned their results.

In addition to unrealistic expectations, there’s also the opposite problem: being overly realistic. This tends to be my problem. What I mean is, since I’m pretty happy with how things are right now, it’s easier to talk myself out of making the extra effort that would be required to reach a higher fitness level. A good example that comes to mind is #11 on my 101 Things list: Do at least 1 unassisted pull-up.

Because I look at things so realistically, my mind rationalizes that this goal might not be a possibility -- and it doesn’t help when I read stuff online about how females have less upper-body strength than men, and most of us will never be able to pull up our body weight (or will have to work a lot harder at it). I’ve even had former military-men tell me that while males have to perform a certain number of pull-ups to meet physical requirements, females are judged on how long they’re able to maintain a flexed-arm hang.

So in my case, what I need to do is stop being so realistic (otherwise known as “talking myself out of something that seems difficult to accomplish”). Because you see, when I’ve just about reached the point where I can tell myself that I don’t really need to be able to perform a pull-up, someone comes along and tells me to get over myself already. Of course I can. Stop making excuses.

One thing I’ve learned is, if you want to see results you have to do it yourself. No matter what you use as your motivation, you’re the one who has to do the work, and you have to do it for yourself -- not anyone else.

How are you guys doing? Are you achieving the goals you set in January? What are your stumbling blocks?

Related Reading:

Melissa at Fitness NYC talks about the importance of realistic expectations in the context of eating raw foods.

Kelly from Every Gym's Nightmare wrote a guest-post on Back in Skinny Jeans that referenced unrealistic expectations. She says, "As a personal trainer, day in and day out I have to battle client mind sets of The Biggest Loser weight loss results, fad diets and unrealistic expectations of transforming their bodies with very

  • 7
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
Losing Irene 5 pts

I am one who has changed my thinking from it being all about weight loss to living healthy. In the beginning, I felt I could lose 90 pounds in one year and be ready to run a marathon in just two.I learned that after a year of living healthy, that wasn't realistic.

I am now on year two of my healthy lifestyle and I love that I lost 40 pounds in 2008. This year I believe losing the additional 50 pounds IS realistic. I have also gotten to loving working out 4-5 days per week and eating better.

I have learned to not expect perfection...just the good ol' college try.

Zandria 5 pts

You've got to do what's right for you, when the time is right. :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

carablogs 5 pts

Back in November, I decided I would sign up for a 1/2 marathon in March. It had been 6 months after my second child was born and I was out of shape. Not obese, but just out of shape. I used to participate in triathlons for cryin' out loud! After a few enjoying training sessions, I decided that training for a 1/2 marathon just wasn't going to work for this phase in my life. I have two children under the age of three and incorporating a training regimen meant time away from them or time away from the other things in my life that I truly enjoy (I do have a husband too!). So I decided not to sign up, made myself OK with my decision and left it at that. I know that one day I will come back to my athletic lifestyle, and I'm ok with taking an extended break. I know it's for the right reasons.

Cara
Check me out @ repurposeful ( http://repurposeful.wordpress.com )
blogging to find new purpose for everyday things

Zandria 5 pts

If you can't do a lot at once, taking it slow is the best way to go. At least that way you won't be doing too much, too soon!

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

Delaine Moore 5 pts

Every other day I think:  I should be doing MORE to acheive my fitness goals; will TODAy be the day I make it a priority?  I've been so busy working that in my mind's eye I can FEEL my muscles atrophying - and it feels gross...unhealthy. 

I know I'm just making excuses.  And I know myself well enough to know that I always make time for the things that are important to me.  For exmaple, I'll get my hair done cause the grey is popping through, or volunteer at my kids' school.  But as for my fitness goals, they're in the backseat.

For me, it's not so much about trying to look like a fitness magazine guru - I really just want to feel healthy and energized.  I'm slim already, thanks to good genes, but that fact tricks me into I'm in better shape than I am - to me, and to others. 

So I'm going to start with baby steps - if I can't get in my car and drive to the gym, I'll AT LEAST go for a walk around the block a few times.  It may reach my full expectations and aspiriations, but truly, it's better than nothing, right?  I w 

Delaine Moore

www.iamdivorcednotdead.com ( http://www.iamdivorcednotdead.com/ )

Because a woman's body never lies...

Zandria 5 pts

Maybe we continue to set our goals higher because we THINK we should be constantly challenging ourselves? I don't think it's a bad thing at all -- obviously we're getting a sense of accomplishment out of it, or we wouldn't do it -- but it definitely makes me think! :)

Personal blog: Zandria.us ( http://www.zandria.us )
BlogHer blog: Singles/Fitness ( http://blogher.com/blog/zandria )

Kathy333 5 pts

I think sometimes it takes a change of thinking too. Before my mom's stroke last year my motivating workout factor was the way that I looked. Now that I'm nearing 40 and she's been ill I realize that it's more about making myself healthy and strong and then the residual effect is looking good. My health is important for me and for my family, so that is what keeps me setting realistic goals for myself-which is to work out at least 4-5 times per week.

I wonder, if we are happy with the way we are/look/feel, then why are we setting our goals so much higher? I am the same way - always kind of making new challenges i hope to pursue and achieve. Run a 5K, run a half, run a marathon. For methe motivating factor is the challenge of can I do it.

Kathy

Allbusiness:Working Mothers ( http://www.allbusiness.com/specialty-businesses/wo... )

Mama Marathoner ( http://www.mamamarathoner.com )