Does Not Going To Church Not Make Me A Christian???

Well I have struggled with this question throughout my spiritual journey. According to my now ex-christian friends I am not a "real" christian.

 

As a child I went to church every Sunday and sat on a pew and didn't understand or know a thing other than God was something good. Now as an adult I have gone to several churches and ALL of them in some form or fashion have ridiculed me.

 

I have had a pastor spend his whole 2 hour sermon screaming at the fact that I didn't raise my hands. Then as if that wasn't bad enough the members got up during testimony to say "the devil was in the building." I have also experienced a pastor who noticed that I wasn't singing because I was sitting in the front row, say in front of the whole congregation "If you don't know the words to the songs look at the hymn book located on the back of  the pew."

 

Well that's just to name a few instances. Of course I don't know the words to the song nor did I know that I should raise my hands during worship and praise. All of these occasions was my FIRST visit to each church and I hadn't accepted Christ as my Savior and I didn't know any better.

 

During my visits with the 2 churches I mentioned, not 1 member at either church fellowshipped with me after the services. Any of the times that I attended (and the one was on the regular).

 

I have decided as for now not to attend a church until I find a church who will embrace and LOVE me as I am. Until then I will read and study my Bible diligently to seek out the Lord and deepen my relationship with Him. And unfortunately my christian friends became ex-christian friends because I told them this very same statement. They feel there is no relationship with God if you don't go to church.

 

What about you guys? Do you struggle with the same problem?

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