Bio
I am the mother of three fantastic daughters and I taught for ten years in Philadelphia before becoming the Educational Services Manager for the Phila...
 
ADD YOUR NAME!
Sign the Own Your Beauty statement of belief.
Share a picture with Own Your Beauty!
THE HOSTS OF
OWN YOUR BEAUTY
12 TIPS
80s icon Molly Ringwald shares her favorite tips on living agelessly with BlogHer.
 
 
 

Most Popular

Does Your Daughter Feel Pretty? Do You?

  • Share This Post
  • Pin It
  • 5
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Own Your Beauty is a groundbreaking, year-long movement bringing women together to change the conversation about what beauty means. Our mission: to encourage and remind grown women that it is never too late to learn to love one's self and influence the lives of those around us - our mothers, friends, children, neighbors. We can shift our minds and hearts and change the path we follow in the pursuit of authentic beauty.

Sesame Street has produced a new song for kids designed to teach black girls to "love their hair." Called, "I Really Love My Hair," it's totally adorable. When it was posted online, that prompted a whole lot of people to view it and react. Lots of discussion about race and hair and how some black women torture themselves and spend a fortune so that they can love their hair.

While I understand all of that, I don't think it's solely a race issue. How many women do you know who love their hair in its natural state? Or, for that matter, how many of us love all the parts of ourselves in their natural states?

Debby Hair

Of course we want to raise girls who love themselves and feel great about their appearance. How many of us succeed? I feel pretty good about myself and overall, I like to believe that I set a good example for my daughters, but, alas, not perfect. I have announced many times that I dislike my wrinkled neck and if I had life to live over, I'd wear sunscreen at a much earlier age. (Yes, I'm aware that in the scope of life's regrets, if that's my only one, I've done pretty well. Sadly, it's not my only regret. It's just the only one that is relevant to this post.) And, Shira once remarked that she's surprised that I color my hair because she thought I'd be a woman who'd want to age gracefully. Gracefully! Moi? No, I'm going kicking and screaming ... oh and dyeing my hair.

Having said all that, I do work at loving myself the way I am. When I run a few miles, I am grateful for the body that got me through it, despite that body carrying more pounds than I'd like. (Especially lately.) But, can't I love myself and want to change some things about me? Is there a way to teach daughters that loving yourself is not mutually exclusive to working to better the parts you don't love?

How can moms set examples that move our girls forward with security but still enable us to be honest with them about our flaws? Carroll girls, how do you feel about you? How did you get that way?

Alexis Writes:

Lex Hair

I'm not going to pretend that I always liked the way I looked. I had a lot of body issues growing up, and it messed with me emotionally. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that those same issues don't creep up now and then. As a result, I know I am not often in tune with how I look, whether it's positive or negative. I'd also be lying if I didn't admit that there are many beauty luxuries that I enjoy that also make me feel good about myself.

I get my hair cut and highlighted every eight weeks, and in recent years I started getting manicures. My sisters don't enjoy these luxuries nearly as much as I do, and I think they think it's a little ridiculous to spend the money I do on my appearance. But I love the way my hair looks and having my nails done makes me feel clean. I think of it this way -- I work really hard to have the body that I do. I exercise, eat right, and take needed medication that sometimes makes me sick. I like the way that my body looks now, and

  • 5
  • Sparkle (
    )
     

Comments

Post comment as twitter logo facebook logo
Sort: Newest | Oldest
RaisingAmazingDaughters 5 pts

Please check out my blog at http://raisingamazingdaughters.wordpress.com

It sounds to me like you really did set a good example. Bravo!

Barbara-The Middle Ages 5 pts

I think when it comes to feeling good about yourself, this may very well be connected to the kind of character you have combined with what kind of experiences you had growing up in school (rather than at home). When it comes to our looks, I think we often look much farther than our own family, but out to the world at large.

That said, I have 2 beautiful grown daughters and we did keep it simple at home. No scales, no complaints about weight, no surgery, no surgery-envy. Good healthy food, exercise, and fresh air. But also, skin cream, makeup, and (eventually for all of us) hair dye. It's a balance.

The Middle Ages ( http://themiddle-ages.blogspot.com/ )      Two Friends--different ages, different husbands, different opinions

RaisingAmazingDaughters 5 pts

Please check out my blog at http://raisingamazingdaughters.wordpress.com

We love it too, of course! Thanks for helping his ego along a bit. :)

JennaHatfield 10 pts

Love that dad chimed in here. :)

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.