A Dollar for Every Perfect Test Score
by moonfever0

You can put me squarely into the category of “overachieving Asian”, thanks to my parents' policy of paying me a dollar for every perfect “100” I scored on a test.  Anything less and I would get nothing.  Pay for grades?  Does that actually work?  In my case it seemed to.

It may sound a bit harsh that my parents would not give me money for a test score of 99.  But they simply had the expectation that I should excel since I was already a straight A student.  Expectations for a weaker student would have been different (I assume!).  Given that there were often multiple tests per week in various subjects, I actually did quite well for myself, as a bonus to my allowance.  Having to always strive for a perfect 100, however, only fueled my perfectionist nature.  There probably is a better way to pay for grades without promoting perfectionism!

But will this approach work in this touchy-feely age of promoting self-esteem to the extent of narcissism?  I believe it will.  Nowadays, kids are getting accolades and awards just for showing up, whether it be a sports team or a scavenger hunt.  Everyone is a winner all of the time!  There’s no incentive to rise above the crowd.  True self-esteem comes from actual accomplishments, where constantly patting children on the back just causes a sense of entitlement.

Now that our kids are in school, we need to determine if and when we institute a pay for grades system.  I believe my parents started when they noticed my test scores faltering a bit.  Once they instituted the new pay scheme, I instantly fell back in line.  In fact, I remember once in college, where it is nearly impossible to get a perfect score on a test (especially at MIT), I achieved a perfect test score and they offered to pay me for it.  I laughed because by that point, getting a good grade was accomplishment enough.

So far my son is excelling in school and has no trouble achieving good grades.  He beats himself up when he doesn’t get a perfect score, so there’s no need for us to step in.  His internal sense of achievement and competition takes care of it.  If he does start to show signs of apathy or underachievement, paying for grades may be instituted. 

For some kids, it is hard to understand the point of having good grades.  There’s no immediate reward or benefit for it.  The benefits come only 10 or 20 years later.  In fact, having good grades lands you in the nerd category and can be a de-motivator.  So having an immediate reward is beneficial for motivating kids to do well in school.  Sure, they may not be doing it for the right reasons, but a reward system is still better than a punishment system.

Plus, paying for grades imitates real life.  In corporate America, mediocre performance gets mediocre raises and no advancement opportunities.  And if your company is actually giving raises this year, good reviews get better raises.  The geeks shall inherit the earth!

Contributing editor Angela blogs about her nerdy kids at mommy bytes.

Submitted by moonfever0 (view blog) on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 7:55pm

Comments

 

Okay, but....

I agree with you on entitlement, for sure. And I even agree with you on the similarities between paying for grades and corporate America. But I have to raise a couple red flags.

1. Your son beats himself up when he doesn't get a perfect score? That's a little scary to me. Perfection, for the most part, is unattainable. Sure, you can get a perfect score on a test, but that's about the only thing in life for which that's true. Setting up the expectation that PERFECTION is the only thing that is truly valuable, well, that means anything less is valueless. Like a less than perfect body. A less than perfect home. A less than perfect relationship. A less than perfect, um, life. I am CERTAIN that's not what you mean to do, but our psyches make these bizarrely direct and clear conclusions through the murky realities that are our imperfect lives. That fear - and loathing - of less than perfection can be devestating.

2. This also sets up a very black and white set of standards from which to look at other people. "It's not perfect" can become a great excuse to NOT do all sorts of things, or accept all sorts of people.

3. What if his - or anyone else's - value system is different? My parents did this with me too. Slightly differently. I got 100 for an A, 50 for a B, nothing for a C, owed 50 for a D and owed 100 for an F. I was determined to be a straight C student so that I could opt out of their game. It was easier than explaining to them why their game offended and hurt me.  Of course, they also had a "Shoe Monster" that would "eat" my shoes if I left them lying around, only to regurgitate them a month later. That taught me that I needed to have 6 pairs of each type of shoe, a habit that I kept.

The simple truth is that no one is perfect. And certainly not at all things. A kid who is great at math may suck at writing. And it is simply not healthy to expect them to be good at everything, much less perfect. Expect them to try their hardest, all the time? YOU BET.

But it is equally important to teach kids how to fail, and fail without losing self-esteem. To learn from their failures, what they're good at, what they should do, what they want to do, what makes them happy. And converesly, what not to do and what makes them unhappy.

The closest that any of us come to living a perfect life is when we figure out who we truly are, for oursleves, and live a life that jibes with that. That is a far greater reward. And THAT is where self-esteem comes from - knowing ourselves well enough to create a life in which we have, and feel that we are of, great value.

____________

Alyssa Royse

Just Cause It: A Web Site To Save The World

READ the magazine http://www.zinio.com/justcause

Submitted by alyssaroyse on Wed, 09/09/2009 - 23:15
 

Perfectionism

Thanks for your concerns about perfectionism, Alyssa.  A lot of first born children (my son and myself included) often suffer from perfectionism regardless of what reward system is put in place.  He is even worse when it comes to playing the piano.  I have been trying to teach him that less than perfectly played music is still music and it's not all about hitting the right notes at the right time.  I am well aware of the pitfalls of perfectionism so I strive for balance in my life and try to model that for my children.

But if a system is in place and the child just wants to work around it, then it is obviously not working.  Recognizing what motivates children is important.  Underachievement is a big downfall during the school years.  It makes it much harder to climb out later in life.  Sometimes kids need a motivator to do their best because they just don't see the point when they are young.

Angela at mommy bytes
BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

Submitted by moonfever0 on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 04:17
 

Nobody's Perfect

Okay this is lame but I'm going to quote the Hannah Montana song: "Nobody's perfect, you gotta  work it, again and again til you get it right."


Know why I like those lyrics? My daughter is an only child and a perfectionist. From the time she was a toddler, if she didn't get something right the first time she would become horribly frustrated. I know she got it from me. It's some genetic thing. When I was a kid if I wasn't good at something right away, I'd give it up. And I missed out on a lot as a result. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized I didn't have to be good at everything to enjoy it. (Tennis for example).


Now it is my goal to encourage my daughter to do her best BUT also to let her know that nobody is good at everything. And that if there's something she wants to do but can't, she must work hard at it.


Perfectionism can be good to a point. But if you've got a kid who already beats themselves up about their perceived failures, then paying for good grades can certainly exacerbate the problem.  


In the end, it's up to a parent to KNOW their kid well enough to know what works and what doesn't in the way of teaching and life lessons. Otherwise, you're not only looking at college tuition but therapy bills.


www.mammakaze.com

Submitted by Mammakaze on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 07:13
 

Persistence

When perfectionism leads to giving up, that is definitely a problem.  Teaching patience and persistence is also important.  My son also gets frustrated when he doesn't get stuff right away.  But I always remind him that life is full of practice.  Practice with persistence is how he learned to play the piano (although still with many tantrums).  These are traits that fall outside of paying for grades, which is just a reward system.  With the piano, the reward is obvious, being able to play a piece of music.  With grades, it isn't so obvious.

Teaching kids that they can't be perfect at everything is a hard lesson, and can be tough to balance against rewarding them for good grades.  It should be emphasized that not getting the reward is not a failure, it is simply not getting the reward this time.  There's always trying harder for next time.  And if that doesn't work, then the reward system needs to be re-evaluated.

Angela at mommy bytes
BlogHer Contributing Editor in Mommy & Family Cribsheet

Submitted by moonfever0 on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 07:41
 

I would have preferred a sliding scale

Five dollars for an A, and anything less would be $1.  Nothing for C and below.


(My blogs are http://flightkeeper.blogspot.com and http://cutefuncool.blogspot.com)

Submitted by Flightkeeper on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 08:49
 

When I was in high shool my

When I was in high shool my parents used to give me a hundred pesos or at that time equivalent to 4 dollars for every highest score in my exams, and it did motivated me to do good with my exams.

Submitted by midnightbliss on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 11:53
 

This just rubs me the wrong way...

There's just something about paying for grades that strikes me as wrong. It seems like kids should be encouraged to do well in school because it's the right thing to do. We should be encouraging the love of learning. If payment is necessary, that's like saying learning is boring and you would only expect a kid to do it for the bucks.

Paying for grades seems like bribery, like offering candy in a grocery store for good behavior. Am I old-fashioned? Maybe. I appreciate the comparison with the real world. But I still have to vote no.

Submitted by Kathy Sena on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 20:09
 

Continuous improvement and to always rise
higher is GOOD!

The idea of striving for continuous improvement is one that everyone should embrace. There seems to be way too much "if it feels good, do it" going around for my taste. (we seem to settle for the lowest common denominator....the world will NOT move forward if each of us doesn't work to shoulder our portion of it all)

Having said that...being humble, being open to helping others and embracing difference is just as important because what we are talking about is making oneself better for the betterment of the whole. (not just ourselves)

Encouragement to be better and better is great......again, not for the sake of crushing or rising above others, but for continuous self improvement. Paying for grades is a great feedback mechanism and I think also gives kids a healthier view and respect for money which I think is needed....i.e: in life they will make more money if they put in the effort and work hard. (yes, life is not that straight forward, nor is compensation so tightly tied to value....but building good work and money higiene is a good thing)

I have two daughters who are now 23 and 21 years old....my wife and I always encouraged them to work hard, and constantly challange and improve themselves. We paid them for grades because we wanted them to see a benefit to getting them that was beyond our happiness and approval. In fact, I didn't want them to find their motivation for higher grades in the fact that they did "better" and  felt they had "crushed" someone else. It was more of a competition against themselves as we always tried to convince them to be humble and helpful to those around them rather than compete with and in any way feel "superior" to them. Reward of money was a carrot. (and it also worked the other way....they got a respect for money too...money equates to hard work, and visa versa.)

We also played other games with compound interest earned in order to enstill the value of saving, but that is a talk for another time.

So I like your approach...I like the idea of striving to better oneself, and the carrot of money for grades not only does that, but rienforces the idea that pay will come if I work hard.

-Quentin

Submitted by bigqueue on Thu, 09/10/2009 - 21:11