Domestic Enemies of the Stay at Home Mom

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Julianna Miner
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Rants from Mommyland

This angry rant was written in response to being asked "What do you do all day?" one too many times. I just couldn't take it anymore.

There is this idea that I am in control of my own schedule. That I get to decide when to do things. We’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I am like every other mom; I simultaneously control everything and nothing. If I don’t keep the trains running, they all come to a grinding halt. Meanwhile, I can’t control when and if I will sleep, return a phone call, or bathe myself without committing an act of child neglect. I have taken maybe three showers in the past 8 years where I haven’t been silently praying; “Please don’t let the kids set the house on fire or choke on Cheerios while watching Dora for the three minutes I’m in here taking a prison shower”.