Don't Depend on Prince Charming to Rescue You Financially.
By EmpoweringWomenToday on September 04, 2012
Featured Member Post
As little girls, we grow up thinking that there is a Prince Charming out there who will sweep us away and take great care of us for the rest of our lives. That one day, we will hopefully not have to work again, can stay home and take care of the kids, and live happily ever after. Although this is a viable and good option for some women, this is not the case for all women. I'm tired of seeing women hope that this will happen to them some day and then feel disappointed when this doesn't occur. We live in a world where more women are getting higher education every day. Women are breaking the glass ceiling in their workplace and are paving the way to CEO positions. However, some women are still waiting for their rich Prince Charming to come along and rescue them from having to work any more. This sounds great if there were in fact millions of not only rich men, but rich, handsome, generous, active and loyal men out there. You and I know though that this is far and few between.
With the economy in shambles and the unemployment rate at an all-time high, it's becoming increasingly difficult, especially in major cities, to only have one partner working and supporting an entire family alone. Aside from the economic factors affecting the current modern family, women need to consider other realistic situations that could influence a woman's future.
My friend opened my eyes at an early age sharing her experience about her family. She said you can't rely on that Prince Charming fairy tale, because what will happen when that doesn't come true? How will you support your kids if you do get married and have kids, but for some reason the relationship between you and your husband does not work out? Her father left her mother when she was really young, and her mother had to find a way to support four kids on her own. They had some very rough times trying to make ends meet, but her mother tried her best with several jobs. My friend realized then that she needed to prepare herself for any and every possible situation in the future by ensuring she not only achieved a good career but continued to work and save for herself and her childrens' future even after marriage.
Another friend recently reawakened this somewhat dormant realization. She told me she wanted to continue working because she didn't want to lose her power. She felt if she let her husband support both of them, he would have control over all the finances in the family and the most say as to how to spend the money made. If she had no money of her own, every purchase she made would be monitored and or scrutinized. Additionally, she had a few married friends who depended 100% on their husbands and when their husbands decided to have an affair, they felt trapped and powerless to get out of the situation, especially because kids were involved. They felt powerless because they didn't know how they would support their kids let alone themselves on their own. Of course, I'm not saying that this is how it is or has to be with all women who do not work and have their husbands support them. However, its a very realistic and rational reason for wanting to continue working.
Based on my own experience, I always worked ever since I was 14 years old. I come from a family that was not wealthy by any means. Therefore to be able to afford some better clothes and fun things that kids normally get without any problems from their parents, I worked my butt off. I studied hard in school, because I knew I wanted a better future for myself and a good job. However, I still had this Prince Charming fairy tale in my head thinking I would quit my "good job" after I got married and had enough savings for us to start a family. Well, I did find someone my last year of college, and we married soon after we graduated.
Once we were married, he felt he had total ownership of me and could treat me however he pleased because we were married, and to him that meant that we were going to be together forever no matter what. I also thought I wanted to be married forever no matter what, but I learned that sometimes this is not always the best decision, especially if the person you expected to spend the rest of your life is verbally abusive. Fortunately, I did have my job and great family support, which gave me the strength and power to leave a verbally abusive relationship.
During the marriage, though, we were pretty good financially speaking. I recall we decided to have a joint checking and savings account. However, having a joint checking account did have its cons, because everything was scrutinized to the nth degree. Also, because he made more than I did, he felt I shouldn't spend as much as he did on clothes and shoes. Therefore I wore the same boots for three years. Oh, how my girlfriends and mother hated my shoes, lol. Lots of things were not necessarily fair, but I was young, naive, and wanted to make the marriage work.
Well, now after listening to many different experiences that women have had with respect to having a "Prince Charming" or not-so Prince Charming support them, I want to encourage others to become your own hero, or rather Financial Superwoman.