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Sparkle (0)
I just said good-bye to them at my door -- the door-to-door religious people. It struck me that I have spent a fair amount of time in my life avoiding being button-holed by people who wish to inflict-- uh, share -- their usually inflexible, generally absolute, their-way-or-the-straight-to-hell-highway-faith-position with me. Over the years I've been accosted at my door, in shopping malls, over lunch, in airports, parking lots, train stations and at social gatherings. When I was a waitress in college, some people would even leave Bible tracts instead of tips. (Oh that was a sure-fire bet to get my attention!)
I've tried many responses. Many years ago I invited urban missionaries in to chat. Here is a true story. I swear it. Two urban missionaries were explaining to my husband and me that they believed that the Holy Spirit came to earth as a real dove. At that exact moment, our pet bird, who was out of the cage that evening, flew in to the room, hovered over the guy's head and flew out. The poor guy darned near collapsed. "Oh my -- I thought it was the Paraclete!" [paraclete - another word for Holy Spirit]. "No," I said, "it's just the paraKEET!"
My attempts to engage people in real dialogue-based conversation who are hell-bent on getting me to heaventheir way, tend to be useless. They have an agenda, a quota on literature drop-offs, a set number of visits to accomplish. They definitely have been trained in what to say, how to counter objections. They travel, regardless of their denomination, in packs of at least two. They give the sense of being religious drones, sent from some master hive to pollinate the world. Their comments are well-rehearsed. I am just another person on the conversion conveyor belt.
Still, it does take a certain amount of courage to approach a stranger's door with no Avon, no Fuller brushes, no fund-raising seeds or candy bars -- just with one's faith. So I don't want to be rude. These are -- at least initially -- people whom I consider are just making a mistake when knocking at my door. They really believe they are helping me. They could be out shopping, or watching a movie, or having lemonade -- but they are out cold calling, doing what they think is a good thing.
I was polite. I asked this bunch, like the bunch who came before them, to please not come again. I told them I was happy that they have found a meaningful faith life, and that I have done so also.
I told them that I wanted to agree to disagree about religion. They told me they just wanted to talk. They wanted to share the good news they had found. I told them I had found good faith news, too -- just not their news.
They asked to leave some literature that would appeal to "spiritually minded people". In a world with more and more people identifying as "spiritual", rather than as "religious", they have clearly modified their pitch.
I asked them outright about their denominational affiliation. They told me. I told them that I would differ with them theologically on many of the major issues important to their belief structure, and that my disagreement was a profound one. I indicated that if we spoke, they would only get a recitation of differences from me.
I asked them politely if they were open to giving up what they believe, and considering conversion to my chosen faith. They said they were not. I told them we were even, that I was not open to conversion to their faith, either. I suggested that could make it easier for them to understand why I was gently sending them away. I used those words -"gently sending you away".
I asked to be taken off their visit list, telling them that no matter how many times they visited, I would not want their literature, nor would I be a candidate for conversion. I suggested we "part as friends". They told me they would still call once a year, in case the occupant of the house had moved, or changed her mind.
I asked that they look at my mailbox. If my name is on it, to not knock. I suggested that if we resolve our parting of the ways now, we can wish each other well, and "be polite while we still can". They said they would check the mailbox in a year, and if my name was still
