I would watch my friends' or relatives kids once in awhile, for free. If a friend told me that she couldn't find or afford a sitter for a night out with her significant other, I'd help out if I didn't have previous plans.(So I guess that means it helps to plan in advance...)

I don't have kids to be watched in return, but there are things I'm sure I could use help with at some point, and my friends are generally really supportive of me so I think sometimes the "favors" are mutual anyway. And let's face it, a "thank you" bottle of cheap-but-decent wine is a pretty good alternative to $10 an hour. 

I know there are some single people who would absolutely not want to do this, but I actually like to hang out with kids, for the most part they like me too and it's just something that wouldn't be a big deal for me.  

Laurie

LaurieWrites

You know, Laurie, we've had friends say that, too, but then when I actually ask, they always have plans.  :(  I don't think they mean to, but it's so hard to get up the nerve to ask that if they turn out to be busy two times in a row, I start to think they were just being nice to say it in the first place.

Surrender, Dorothy - When I was your age, we just let them ride in the back window.

Rita Arens is a contributing editor for BlogHer -- Mommy & Family.

When my kids were little, a friend and I started a babysitting co-op. I think I originally read about how to do this in a book. It wasn't that hard to organize because most of us who got involved were in the same moms' group. Over time there was a slight problem which developed: some moms ended up with most of the tokens because they'd rather sit and others ended up with none, because they'd rather go out! On the whole though it was a good solution to the challenge of finding sitters and getting one-on-one partner time.

Now my biggest challenge is figuring places I'd like to go that actually give us talk time and which are inexpensive and enjoyable. Given the choice, we'd rather hike, cycle, or do something active, but the only time we get to go out is the evening and this just doesn't work. Still, kids grow up fast - at some point we should have plenty of time to do these kinds of things. For now we just need some time to be together without kids.

BookLady Alison

One year into a divorce and full of reflection, I say it's imperative to budget for 'date nights' one way or another.

It's too easy to let the busyness, drudgery and habit of day-to-day living take over marriage - nights blur into two people sitting on the couch watching TV.   We all need to feel connected, engaged, and BEAUTIFUL - when the kids are young, we often feel overwhelmed by everyone else' neediness.  Underneath our responsibilties there is an interesting, vibrant, sexy Woman.  She needs to feel honored. As does he.

Just wanted to say thanks for the Care.com shoutout. 

I totally agree about needing a date night, no matter what. I, along with my relatives, take turns with the kid-watching duties, relieving the respective parents for a (much needed and deserved!) night out on the town.

Cheers,

 Mike

@MikeandtheMoms on Twitter

In the end you said it all; "But you know what? It's worth it. IT'S WORTH IT."

I notice that we are stingy, stingy towards ourselves with time, money and asking for what we want and thus we don't have enough to give away such things as love, attention, time and money to others.

Of course we are not taught to be generous and feel abundant, and we are not taught to make sure we have enough for ourselves.
At the moment most of us experience lack in all aspects of our lives.

If we would give so little to our garden as we are given to ourselves and others, it would be a barren and sorry looking garden, I can tell you.

The more we are talking about giving to ourselves, be it attention, love, hugs, presents or whatever we feel like AND we feel we can ask because there is an abuandance of the things we are asking for, the better our lives will shape up AND the lives of the ones that surround us.

You have done us a great favor by spelling out that we need to live with an abundant mindset regardless.

 I hope you go enjoy yourself soon and find an excellent sitter.

Wilma Ham

www.wilmasblog.com

You're not going to want to hear this, but I'm blessed to have a homeschooling mama with seven kids living a few doors down. When one of her girls outgrows the babysitting age, another one ripens. It's great because they are available even during the day for doc appts., etc.  $7/hr for two kids seems to keep them coming back.

Before our current living proximity to the babysitter haven, we definitely went longer between dates. I don't recommend it either.  When money is tight, simply finding a cozy corner at the local coffee shop and staring at one another without interruption seems to do the trick.  Or even just coming home shortly after we know she has the girls fed and in bed and enjoying a glass of wine together while refreshed from not being beat down from the nightly routine is great.

I hope you find a worthwhile sitter soon! 

Kerry @ Colored With Memories

http://www.justusgibsons.blogspot.com

I'm so glad those days are over.  I can't remember anything as traumatic as finding, booking, and getting my daughter used to - a sitter. She cried.   She cried a lot, even at 7 years old, unless they were brilliant.  What I used was the lists at the local colleges - they had a job board, and actually gave me lists of "babysitters" - everyone was fantastic. (I even used the list to find data entry help for my business way back then.)

Here's what my husband and I did with the time when we got it: We went straight to a cheap cheap hourly rental motel down the street, rented a room for 2 hours, had sex, fell asleep, and then went out to dinner and came home.  I remember those dates more than anything we did during the whole time we tried to find "quality time" together - so out of the box and fun (mirrors on the ceilings).

Just making it through as a couple, now that I look back, seems heroic.  My hats off to you in the middle of that now. Rori