Dread and online dating

I have a pretty established track record when it comes to post-divorce dating. Here's my cycle: 1. Go several months without any dates, until selective memory kicks in

2. Start cruising dating site, reply to messages I get, and tell myself to "take some chances and get out there!"

3. Go on a few dates.

4. Remember why I normally don't bother.

5. Repeat.

I am determined to not be so easily dissuaded this time, but honestly, what in god's name are some guys thinking? The last time I went on more than one date with the same person, he was nice, and we got along pretty well. He was a bit odd, but not deal-breakingly so.

Fast forward to date #2. We had dinner, and something I ate desperately wanted to violently rejoin us. I felt distractingly nauseous, and told him so. I didn't want to eat and then immediately bail, so we decided to walk to a nearby coffee shop for tea to try to settle my stomach, to no avail. I tried delicately to wrap up the evening by telling him I felt ill, but he wanted to tell me his entire life story, analyze me, know my deepest thoughts and my very soul. Normally I'm all for it, but when my life goal is to go home, puke and then sleep, a girl's priorities change.

Finally nausea outweighed etiquette, and I told him I was going home. When he walked me to my car, he grabbed my head and planted one on me really aggressively. Now, I don't know about you, but when men think of their first kiss with me, I don't want the immediate association to be a violent urge to puke. That association, however, is precisely what he got. Who in their right mind thinks someone who is about to hurl wants to make out? I don't have access to enough bandwidth required to rant about the rapey implications of someone who grabs my head to force a kiss on me, either.

I'm not dredging up these memories to convince myself to surrender the cause and return to being dateless, but rather to remind myself that given the number of frogs in my past, certainly I am due my prince. Get on it, universe.

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