Being of the over forty group I should be getting Mammograms every year.  A recent twinge and burn finally motivated me into scheduling one that was "over two years" past due.  The scheduling person of course had to point that out to me.  As if I didn't already have a pretty good idea it had been that long.  Ok so why do I put it off?

For the most part I figure I'm on borrowed time.  I have large lumpy dense breasts and I figure its just a matter of time before there is something.  My mother has had numerous lumpectomies.  My grandmother had breast cancer when she died.  (She did not die from it, she died from heart failure they think brought on by radiation therapy).  The cancer didn't get her, the cure did.  Both of them had far less lumpy and dense breasts than I do.  I can hardly get any use of a self exam because my breasts are full of lumps.  So I put it off because I am waiting for the hammer to fall. 

Second to that, it really does hurt me.  My lumpy dense breasts hurt during the procedure and the next day they get swollen and sore.  So I hesitate going through that experience. 

But then I finally cave in and do what I'm supposed to do because all the articles I've read and  ads on television have finally guilted me into getting it done.  So I sufficiently scare myself into making the appointment.  Then of course I've scared myself into wondering if I have waited to long.  I keep reading more horror stories.  Even the articles about how I should have other types of tests done.  I had one ultrasound done one year because the mammogram showed some strange looking cell.  But they later decided it was nothing.

There are articles about misdiagnosis of the mammogram results.  Great, what are you supposed to do about that?  So you've gone and gotten the test and gone through all the wondering if its ok and such.  Then you get the letter in the mail with the clean bill of health - but you are supposed to wonder if that's true? 

This is way more than I want to worry about.