Dreadmill Mom Discovers iPad Mini ‘Virtual Runner’ App Made Possible by Mad Drunken Midget Friend

I had a cool new iPad Air once upon a time a few days ago.  Then my mean drunken midget friend aka toddler dropped it on the hardwood floor on Mother's Day. 


iPad Air via apple.com

"iBreak it."

This prompted my husband to ask if I would like a replacement iPad as a gift for making me a mom of said midget in the first place and ruining all my fun.  So I commenced to making a decision on whether or not I wanted to go with the Air again or downsize to the Mini which might prove more durable and safer with a protective cover should it land in mini midget hands.

It's not that I NEED another iPad.  The word NEED is reserved for food, internet service, and Injini toe socks (http://www.blogher.com/blister-proofing-bunions-snake-deterrent-injini-toe-socks).  But the iPad Mini is almost a necessity because there are so many things that can be done with it if the iPad fairy leaves one under your contour memory foam pillow.


The iPad Mini isn't just an oversized iPhone 5.  It's an iPod Touch Maxi!

I personally take my iPad everywhere because I believe that's what you're supposed to do.  When you have a cool new gadget, it does not reach the maximum pleasure standard until all your friends are jealous of your new gadget.  Therefore, it goes with me to Walmart, where I whip it out and check my Facebook as I wait in line to pay for my lemon Jell-O. I also take it to parties, where I use it to play games while waiting for my turn at beer pong.

When running on the ol' 'dreadmill' I usually watch videos on the iPad Mini from Netflix's "watch instantly" streaming option but the other day I figured out how to work a few apps specifically for running. I have an iPhone synched with my Mini, so that means I can say to my peeps, "Hey peeps! I just scored a mad new app." As of now I have so many apps that other treadmill runners at the neighborhood Y are simply in awe of my app-iness and app-titude.  I'm also looking into legally changing the name of my chocolate lab running partner to 'Appy the Uni-dog'.


via krapps.com & Younicorn on the App Store

“Make every day magical” by turning your dog into a unicorn.

A few days ago I spotted an app called 'Virtual Runner' and I finally had the chance this week to try out its downloadable courses ranging from 5Ks to Marathon runs. On a busy afternoon when only a 6 mile run would fit in with our PCS moving schedule I decided to go with the '10K Run Along the Potomac'.  To start, I downloaded the 'Virtual Runner' iPad app then downloaded the Potomac course. This required a few attempts to get right as it was really frustrating how big these video files are.  My poor little 32gb iPad couldn’t handle it at first, so I had to clean out a few things (aka finish line selfies and mad drunk midget friend pics) before I could download.

I have to say downloading the running course was the most disappointing part of this app.  Each race course can take 20-40 minutes to download.  I left the app open after pressing install and almost 10 minutes in I received an error message. To add further disappointment to the download process, the app would leave the halfway downloaded course on my iPad Mini so I’d run into more issues with space.  I learned it's ok to delete and reinstall the app if this happens.  The courses purchased will automatically show up in the available courses when you reinstall.


This speeds along the process.  Evidently.

The instructions are fairly easy to comprehend.  I know this because I took time to download and read an installation guide as if it were a juicy book on my iPad Mini. I read this thing like it was a mommy porn piece in the most obnoxious way so as to seek attention from the most people noticing me read something on my new gadget. I read about this runner’s app at the convenience store where I enjoy an occasional twice-a-day Big Gulp Mountain Dew. I read at the library while peering in a superior way at all the old schoolers who waste valuable energy turning pages. I read in slow moving traffic at stop lights and when people around me got a little horn happy, I stood up through my sunroof, waved my iPad Mini at them and yelled, "Hey! I'm reading a mother trucking installation guide on my iPad Mini, M'Kay?!"

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