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Dress Your Age? Nine of Ten Women Don't ...

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Dress my age? Hell, no!

A new survey, conducted by UK department store chain Debenhams, finds that nine out of 10 women dress younger than their age and more than half don’t intend to dress their age until their 70s.

But what, exactly, does dressing one’s age mean? Not one of my friends, in the waning days of their third, fourth or even fifth decade on this planet, made an appointment with their hair stylist for a “mom” (read, matronly) haircut. I know of no one who wears “mom jeans” or who, at some pre-ordained date thought, “Ah hell. I’m – pick a number – and I’m giving up. No more stylish clothing, cosmetics or mirrors for me.” The ageless women I know haven’t adopted a wardrobe of elastic-waist polyester pants and sensible shoes. They exercise regularly, are conscientious about eating healthy foods, take pride in their appearances and look beautiful – not only for their ages, but for any age. No, they don’t raid their daughters’ closets or wear skimpy clothing – that might be inappropriate at any age – but they haven’t sacrificed style and fashion for dumpy, shapeless clothing either.

I have a friend who’s the epitome of ageless. She hits the gym regularly and is in great shape. She wears her long – and beautifully blonde – hair in a pony tail that reaches her waist. She looks as fabulous in tee shirts and yoga pants as she does in a cocktail dress. She is past the age when women are “supposed” to wear their hair long. But don’t tell her that. Don’t tell her that she is supposed to dress her age when, thanks to the gym, healthy eating, an upbeat attitude and outlook, her age is impossible to pinpoint.

I’m of the very strong opinion that we should be neither defined by our looks nor derided because we take pride in them and want to maintain them as long as possible. I don’t know that I dress my age. I don’t know that I don’t. What I know is that I dress for my body, my comfort, the occasion, the weather. I’m happy when I look my best. It makes me feel good. My appearance is not the sum of me, but it is an important part of who I am.

Maybe that survey is correct, at least, in part. While I no longer dress like I did when I was in my 20s, I don’t intend to dress my age, no matter what age I reach. I will continue to dress as I please – and if that means I’m going to wear an up-to-the-minute trend because I like it and feel good wearing it, what’s it to you? I say wear what you like, what makes you feel good about being in your own skin and what’s a reflection of your lifestyle, personality and personal style.

What do you think? Please leave a comment below.

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unourjeluz 5 pts

Well,lol, I guess wearing whatever we want and whatever we are comfy in is our choice since it's our lives. As long as it's appropriate for the situation then wear whatever you want......we could always wear nothing at all.......then what would they say? Is my 35 year old skin I'm living in inappropriate for a 35 year old to wear as well? J/k,but no matter what you wear someone,somewhere will have a problem with it,s wear whatever makes you happy!

ladycascadia 5 pts

I'm 51 and I've never dressed "my age"...even as a teenager I tended to dress "older" as I prefer a more conservative and sophisticated look. That's just me and if someone doesn't like it, oh well...

jael.hallelujah 5 pts

just like the admonition, "Act your age," is a convention for the comfort of OTHERS, and not of individuals. I plan to add this to a list of Hallelujah breakers I list on brokenhallelujah.org. I don't invest in other people's opinion of outward appearance, my focus is to look at my heart- to dress it with humor and humility and Grace, in lieu of bitterness, envy and regret. As always, if society more often cued us to embrace the development of who we are as women, not what we look like, we wouldn't care who wore what to Starbucks.

juliaandruswilliams 6 pts

I didn't know that "age appropriate" ever meant giving up. It seems inappropriate, at any age, to just give up.

Like so many others have said, "age appropriate," to me, means finding clothes that flatter your figure and make you feel good about yourself. And, certainly, the clothes that satisfy those criteria change over time. And because of that, my mini skirts and midriff-bearing tops from college have gone to Goodwill!

Julia Andrus Williams

www.andruswilliams.com ( http://www.andruswilliams.com )

OneWomansEye 5 pts

I'm not even sure what that would mean!

When I dress I don't think about my age. I think about what I like, what's fashionable and what looks and feels good on me.
And if I'm lucky to grow as old as my mom one day( she is 88 now) I will continue to do the same thing!

Joanne Tombrakos is a writer, personal coach and corporate expatriate  who blogs her observations on life and work after Corporate America at http://onewomanseye.blogspot.com. Stay tuned for details on the release of her first novel!

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Eleanore - Lol! I sense your outrage at the thought! I hate the premise of being relegated to a certain style of dressing because I'm a certain age. The thought makes my blood boil! Like you, I wear what I like and what I think looks good on me. I have no interest in shopping in my daughters' closets - but I'm not shopping for shapeless, matronly clothing either. Thanks so much for your comment!

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Carrie - Agreed! Did you see Jane Fonda on the Golden Globes last night? She was perfection. Stylish and elegant. Her dress - with sleeves - a trend seen on last night's red carpet, but done best by Ms. Fonda, imo - was beautiful. And there was not the slightest whiff of matronly. As you say - feminine, but not girly. Womanly, but not matronly. Thanks for your comment!

dborchardt 5 pts

I certainly think of myself as stylish and on trend. But sweatpants with juicy across the butt at 49? Not happening. I want to look stylish not stupid and ridiculous. I saw all these super cute outfits at comic con on these anime festival girls - very japanese lolita. But at 49? no way. I've got skinny jeans, I've got leggings, but there are some looks that I have to say - that ship has sailed. I'm ok with that.

rayvingraychel 6 pts

Do we dress our age? Because it seems to me that alls styles are open to all ages. It's all just a matter of taste.

Read Rachel's Tel Avivian rambles, raves ( http://therayve.blogspot.com ) and rave reviews at: http://therayve.blogspot.com

eleanore w 5 pts

Dress my age? Really? Not a chance. I wear what looks good on me. I certainly don't want to look like I've been playing around in a teenager's closet, but that's where the age guidelines end. I dress how I feel: like a grown-up who looks and feels good!

Eleanore
www.TheSpinsterliciousLife.com ( http://www.TheSpinsterliciousLife.com )

TheSweetest 7 pts

I don't think that dressing your age means you have to sacrifice style. This is something I have been trying to accomplish for while- I aim for something casual, yet sophisticated. Feminine, but not girly. Womanly, but not matronly.

Miss Behavin 5 pts

I love this Coco Chanel quote, "A girl should be two things, classy and fabulous!"

If you look good, you feel good. Enough said.

Carrie is a blogger at Maneuvering Motherhood ( http://www.maneuveringmotherhood.com ). She loves coffee, gourmet cooking, and trying her husband's patience.

Melody Lesser 5 pts

KT - Your response made me laugh out loud. I'm with you in that fight against aging. Bring on the creams and hair dye! And don't take away my jeans and heels and replace them with shapeless pants and sensible shoes - just because I'm a certain age. Love your comments. Thanks.

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Go for it Trish! I agree with all that you've said - including the part about cleavage. I love my stilettos too! I feel dumpy in flats, thanks to my natural lack of stature, perhaps. Tower away!

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Amber - Here, here! Clothes should make you feel good. Creative style is good. Personal style should be a reflection of, well, you. I don't want anyone to look at me and say "oh, she dresses like a - pick a number - year old." I mean what does it mean to dress like a 20 year old, a 30 year old, a 50 year old? Those days are gone, I think. Personal style rules today.

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Well said that fitness has added new dimensions to age appropriate dressing. I also completely appreciate your thought process that an item of clothing might be inappropriate for you to wear for whatever reason. But it's you who is making that choice - not someone who is dictating to you. That's where, for me, the problem lies.

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Jenna - I dress like me too. As a fashion writer, it's my job to know and report on fashion trends. I love fashion and, if I choose to wear a trend because it looks good on me, makes me feel good when I wear it, fits my lifestyle and reflects my personality, great. But I don't think I'm any less fashionable in a classic, beautifully tailored ensemble that isn't trendy. I like to sprinkle my basic wardrobe with a few trendy pieces - just for fun. What I resent however, is to be told what to wear or how to look. I don't tell my readers what to wear. I respect their personal style - and their intelligence - too much to dictate to them because of an arbitrary number, such as age - or for any reason in fact.

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Texasbeth - Yes, yes, yes! If the trends look good, and the clothing fits your body and lifestyle, I say go for it. This survey annoyed me - or at least the way it was reported annoyed me. It was as if the reports wanted women to fit into a cookie cutter mold of dressing, depending on their years. If I had a dollar for every time I heard a beautiful, youthful woman say that she had to cut her hair or stop wearing jeans because she was turning 50 - or whatever age. My EverBeautiful and ageless mother wears jeans. She loves fashion and her wardrobe is filled with pieces that are timeless and trendy. And she always looks beautiful.

Melody Lesser 5 pts

@bittersweetaddie "One of the youngest women I know just turned ninety one." Beautiful. I love that.

Authentic Life 9 pts

I'm with you Trish...who doesn't LOVE an occasional stiletto!!!

Authentic Life 9 pts

From time to time, I've been known to pick up an item from the junior department - and I'm OVER 40!!
Honestly, I feel better NOW and am WAY more comfortable with myself than I was when I was 20-something.
{Although, I'm not a fan of the wrinkles and the gray hairs that insist on fighting me!}
I say, Bring It On!
I'm fighting the aging gene (jean) every step of the way!!!

KT in MT

Trish Iles 5 pts

I see WAY too many beautiful, vibrant women who go for the "I give up" look. It's sad! We're beautiful, no matter what, and should embrace our womanliness. Arguments about modesty aside, because modesty can be stylish. It doesn't have to be a denim jumper and a turtleneck. (Personally, I say the HECK with modesty. There's a time and place for all things, including CLEAVAGE!! Well, alright. Not at the office, but certainly at home with my honey or on date night with him.)

One comment I frequently get is about my shoes. I have a desk job and my own office, so I can easily kick off my shoes at any time. That means I can wear towering stilettoes every day. INSTANT feminine power and authority.

Trish in AZ

www.contemplatinghappiness.blogspot.com ( http://www.contemplatinghappiness.blogspot.com )

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Thanks Emily. My 25-year daughter, Emily, and I both also appreciate timeless, classic clothing. There are times when we, and my younger daughter, Victoria, are all dressed similarly. I guess we missed the memo on dressing your age - but I'm glad that so did 9 out of 10 women, according to the Debenham's survey.

Melody Lesser 5 pts

Thanks Margaret. I agree with you - I don't know what dressing my age means either. But I refuse to be dictated to or - as a fashion writer/editor/blogger - to dictate. I like your criteria - flattering and well-priced.

Nobody wants to be Ethel 36 pts

Age appropriate hmm.. I guess means that I don't wear baby diapers, with a bonnet and shake a rattle? Not an accurate way to describe how people should dress. My biggest concern is that my hips don't get accentuated. I can still look "hip" and accomplish that.

Patty

emilysteers 13 pts

my mom is nearly 60, and to be honest? we share clothes. what does that say? i think it means that we both appreciate timeless, classic cuts and that my mom really likes being the same size as her 25 year old daughter!

 -emily

www.happyhomeblog.com ( http://www.happyhomeblog.com )

Amy_in_StL 5 pts

When I was in highschool I followed a lot of trends. In my 20's I wore a lot of more revealing outfits and was a little more daring in my fashion choices. In my 30's I still made some dramatic fashion choices, but wore less revealing clothing. Now at 40, I tend to dress in classic styles with a bit of trend here and there (animal print cashmere shell, grey nail polish, etc) but I don't experiment as much or swing as wildly on the fashion scale.

I think that's what dressing MY age means. At 40, I've come to a decision on my style and I stick to it and don't follow trends that don't fit my body or my lifestyle anymore. I also don't have mom jeans, but I'm not a mom nor will I probably ever be one.

Just_Margaret 17 pts

I'm with you, Melody..."wear what you like, what makes you feel good about being in your own skin and what’s a reflection of your lifestyle, personality and personal style."

Perhaps 9 out of 10 don't "dress their age" because they don't know what dressing their age actually means--I know I'm not sure. Seriously, these days, I spend more time worrying about if I'm dressing according to my budget rather than my age. If it's flattering and not too pricey, then I'm good with it!

~Margaret

Margaret also blogs ( http://maurhoffbarney.blogspot.com ), is on Facebook ( http://www.facebook.com/pages/Just-Margaret/135445966472486 ) and tweets ( http://twitter.com/Just_Marg ) once in a while.

ModaMama 6 pts

I have my rare moments when I pull something out of the closet and only later realize it's probably time to retire that item of clothing. It happens when I get the the young hipster me might have enjoyed this outfit, married and mother of two me isn't fooling anybody.

I'll agree that healthy/agelessness has added new dimensions to "age appropriate" and that women of all ages can look their best at any numerical age but I think some guidelines would be helpful.

Couldn't all women just together and say mini skirt after X age is ill advised, belly shirts that show stretchmarks are also probably out, if your children cringe because of your wardrobe you might be doing something wrong and so on?

www.SaraInAkko.blogspot.com ( http://www.SaraInAkko.blogspot.com )

Life in the Middle East, with craft and spice

sassymonkey 1023 pts moderator

You just didn't like the name and you ended up loving those jeans and how they look with your cute flats. Don't try to deny it.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

amberpagewrites 5 pts

My style is...creative. I worry sometimes that the things I tap into could be seen as too young, but honestly, if it makes me happy, I don't really care. That much.

Clothes should make you feel good, you know?

Denise 1741 pts moderator

LOL, Jenna.

~Denise
BlogHer Community Manager
Life. Flow. Fluctuate.

sassymonkey 1023 pts moderator

What it even means to dress my age.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at Sassymonkey ( http://sassymonkey.ca ) and Sassymonkey Reads ( http://sassymonkeyreads.ca ).

JennaHatfield 250 pts

I don't even know what a woman who is turning 30 is supposed to wear. I've never paid attention to trends, especially age trends. I wear what fits, mostly in classic styles. Occasionally people rope me into trends (ahem, sassymonkey), but I mostly just dress like me.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

texasebeth 99 pts

I think the words "age appropriate" should be the guideline, not your actual age.

You can wear trends and fashion forward at any age as long as the clothes fit properly, are flattering and you have the confidence to wear it!

Elizabeth

@texasebeth ( http://twitter.com/texasebeth )  and My Life, such as it is.... ( http://texasebeth.blogspot.com )

bittersweetaddie 5 pts

you look good, you feel good, if you feel good, you do good! That has always been my mantra and though fast approaching my 6th (OMG how did that happen!) decade I'm sticking to it. One of the youngest women I know just turned ninety one. The most important lesson I've learned from all the amazing women I've known is that growing old has more to do with attitude than numbers :)