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When was the last time you got dressed up? And what exactly do you mean by "dressed up" -- little black dress, or clean pants and a tee that didn't have a stain on the front? How much time do you spend getting yourself ready on a normal day? Is that too much or too little?
And why does any of that matter?
Shannon at Mama in Wonderland is thinking about what she might wear for Easter -- and about the bigger issue of what her clothing choices say about the kind of person -- and mother -- she is:
I couldn't help but think: Why don't I ever dress like that for Easter? I mean, my first reaction was, Oh, pretty, but not me--I'll just be wearing my black Ann Taylor Loft trousers with a blouse and some flats [BOR-ING], because I don't have any clothes like that and I'm not going to go out and buy a new dress and heels just to wear one time at Easter church. But that got me thinking; why not? I mean, if you're not going to dress up in a pretty dress and heels on a holiday, when are you? And don't those commercials--annoying marketing propaganda as they may be--encompass at least part of what you think a certain type of mom should look like on Easter? And are you that mom? And if you hope your daughters grow up thinking of you as not just a good person and a loving mom but also as someone who values HER OWN SELF enough to look nice and take care of herself and even spend some money on herself in order to dress up now and then--to be that pulled-together, pretty mom when the occasion calls for it--well, shouldn't you start being that mom, now? And if not, when are you going to start?
I say start now.
Let's be clear about something: what you wear will NOT make you a better mother or friend or sister or person. But schlepping around in sweats and a ponytail also doesn't make you a better mother or friend or sister or person. It just makes you a person who doesn't get dressed for things.
We have decided, as a culture, that "dressing up" is something we save for special occasions. We have also decided that dressing up isn't cool, that wearing a dress or heels or anything that can't go in the washing machine is somehow pretentious or foolish. And in the process, we have lost any sense that we deserve to take time for ourselves.
Shannon isn't really worried about what she will wear to church on Sunday; she is more concerned with how this example of the Easter dress translates into larger questions of how women think about themselves. Don't we deserve to dress up? Why are we waiting for a special occasion? And when is that special occasion, exactly? Why isn't a regular day as a mom -- or a wife or a friend or a woman -- a special enough occasion for us to get dressed up?
Why is looking bad such an important part of being a woman?
Moms are especially susceptible to this -- we get into these contests to see who can go the longest without buying new clothes or having a hair cut or taking a shower. But I don't buy this myth that being shabby and shaggy and smelly really makes you a better mother. I don't think that the fact that you work from home means you don't have to make an effort. I don't know what we're waiting for -- why not go ahead and get dressed up? Or at least get dressed. And maybe have a shower, and book a hair appointment, while you're at it.
I'm not advocating wearing your LBD to playgroup, but get out of the yoga pants. Take ten or fifteen or thirty minutes to get ready in the morning; spend that time thinking about yourself, not about your kids or your clients or your spouse. Stop waiting for an occasion to be the pulled-together, pretty woman -- just do it today. The message you will send is that you matter; if you are a mom -- especially a mom of young girls -- that message is important.
Want to see what real mom fashionistas are wearing? The contributors at The Fashionable Housewife are happy to
