Avoiding Big Boob Saggage Baggage on the Run

image

via http://caloriecount.about.com/calories-little-debbie-oatmeal-creme-pie-i233343

After enough snack cakes, no one is a Little Debbie.

So scientists are still conducting research on how running might expedite the sagging process but in the meantime, we shan't worry our pretty little mosquito bites or colossal Cadillac bumper bullets.  We should just go run.

Here are some take away points for torpedoes to towel racks and every sorted pair of ta-tas in between:

If you get boob pain when running then you are probably over stressing the tissue and Coopers ligaments so you need a better bra.  Sometimes while running boobs can become tired.  So what if your boobs are just exhausted? What if they collapse half way through your run and as a result you teeter down to the ground on the road or trail?  I know you probably get regular health exams to prevent such a tragedy but what if you have boobs that look perfectly healthy and happy to be running with you, but are secretly bi-polar? Isn’t it conceivable that they could suddenly have an attack of mania and decide to fly?  Better buy a good bra to keep 'em strapped down.  http://www.blogher.com/under-armour-protege-big-boobs-and-saline-noobs-r...

When the ol' droobies are grazing the race belt, you must heed this as a warning sign.  You don't want to just wear the same old thing you have been wearing for years, as you change shape the sports bra won't change shape with you.  The material will degenerate just like your running shoes will after so many miles. Invest in a good one that you can wear frequently like the ones Oprah approves for the big-breasted high impact wearer.   You'll feel as pampered as Ms. O herself and no one can ever be sad enough to fling themselves from a high window while wearing an expensive bra featured on Oprah's favorite things list in O Magazine. (Until they receive the MasterCard bill at which point the potential for self-harm increases 1,693%.)

The main takeaway from Dr. Dweck's research is to wear a good bra.  Just wanted to reiterate this droop-avoiding tip so that your rolling hills not only stay bodacious but remain the audacious, brazen and best running partners you'll ever have.  Yes I know a few of these references to your boobies are a little frightening, but nevertheless I hope you appreciate them and that I had you at 'audacious', pretty blog reader.

As always, sending good boob vibes of the non-bouncing variety your way.

image

via theinspirationroom.com

More Like This

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.