The Duggar Family and THOSE Photos

Reposted from my personal blog:

Sorry – I have another sad post…  Bear with me.

If you haven’t already heard – the Duggar family (you know, that one with the 19 kids and counting?) recently had a loss.  Michelle miscarried her 20th child this week.

Now – I’m NOT going to talk about how many children she has.  I personal don’t agree with having that many, but those kids are well taken care of and it’s not my vagina those kids are coming out of.

However, I want to talk about those pictures that TMZ has from the memorial service of their baby, Jubilee Shalom Duggar(Warning, the photos are potentially unsettling for some.)

While I have never given birth, and thankfully have never miscarried, I understand that many parents that lose a child during pregnancy take remembrance photos.  Examples are found at http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org, an organization that specializes in this kind of thing.  I cannot imagine how hard it is to lose a child, and compound that grief with never being able to SEE that child.  Remembrance photography can help some people in the grieving process, and honor their child even though it never breathed a single breath.

HOWEVER – I feel very strongly that there is a huge difference in taking these sorts of photos for the benefit of the parents and family, and what the Duggars did at their memorial service. Their child was so small – one picture is of Michelle holding both of Jubilee’s legs in-between her thumb and forefinger. There are no “face shots” of the baby shown, but the images shown are upsetting, even to me.  It takes a lot to bother me, but I lost sleep after reading the aforementioned story on TMZ.

Now, it is still the decision of the parents of if they want to take remembrance photos.  I just feel that with how the photos looked, they should have NEVER been displayed to anyone outside of the family.  The fact that these photos got to the public makes me think one of two things:

-That this was simply a publicity stunt for the Duggar’s TV show.  Everyone already knew that a 45 year old woman that had given birth to 19 other children was pregnant again.  I think a majority of people felt badly for her as a mother losing a child when the news broke that she had miscarried. But displaying that poor fetus (it WAS a FETUS) in front of God and everyone seems to be a cry for people to watch what happens on their show, and not just a family greiving.

OR

-That this is a pro-life move from the MOST pro-life family on the planet.  The only thing that I could think of was that the photos reminded me of those repulsive signs from protesters showing an aborted 2nd trimester child.  So, maybe the Duggar family is trying to say, “Look, 2nd trimester abortions are killing babies, not just fetuses.”  Being a pro-choice supporter, I resent that people feel the need to take this road – women that have to make the decision to abort their child should feel additional guilt by being forced to witness what fetuses look like at the stage they abort.  These women have already been through hell, and made possibly the most difficult decision of their lives.  Don’t rub salt in the wound.

Either way, I feel less respect for the Duggar family today.  Not that I watched their show or particularly cared about them before now.  I did respect that they followed their beliefs and truly love all the children they have.  Now, I just feel dirty for them.  I hope that they find whatever they are looking for in displaying these pictures.  I just wish I hadn’t ever saw them.

I have a kind of boring life, but you can find out more about it at Everyday Things.

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Trending Now

Recent Posts by jenmcmillin