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So you just got dumped and that insensitive
fool says “I would like to be friends” while you are still drowning in
your own tears. Why do they do that? If they think that it’s
comforting to know that they still “care”, they couldn’t be more
wrong. Knowing that they ‘care’ about you, yet don’t want to be with
you probably doesn’t exactly make you feel better about yourself. I am
not sure about the rest of you, but I actually feel better if they were
honest and upfront with me. It might hurt more at the moment, but it
will also help me get over him that much faster!
Face it, being friends after you have had a romantic relationship
with that person rarely works out. Hanging out as if you were normal
platonic friends with a humungous elephant in the room is awkward to
say the least. One party will eventually give or receive mixed
signals, and will want more than just a friendship – and unfortunately,
more often than not, the feeling is not mutual.
Perhaps I am a little cynical but the reasons I believe they want to be friends are:
- They want to release themselves of the guilt of dumping someone,
- It’s a cop out way to open the doors for a ‘friends with benefit’ relationship, which is very unhealthy or
- They know you are a great person but just aren’t ready to commit
so they keep you around for when they are ready and in case you are the
one.
Do yourself a favor and don’t fall into that trap. Being friends
with an ex will only complicate things. Leave the relationship and if
you happen to bump into each other some time down the track when you
are both moved on, then try the friendship route again. You have other
friends with whom you did not have a romantic history; you don’t need
to be friends with your ex. Spare yourself of the drama and emotional
ride.
