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As parents we’re pretty vigilant that our kids do their homework, give more than their best to their school work, keep their grades up and reach for more than just getting by.
We’re probably more attentive to our son’s educational career than our daughters right now for many reasons, all of which are wrapped up tight with the Dyslexia bow tie.
Ace is a well adjusted kid with above average intelligence yet his test grades give the impression that he doesn’t study, that he doesn’t put in any effort and that he doesn’t care.
This is a frustrating issue for him. When he sees test after test come back with less than stellar grades, he gets annoyed and frustrated that no matter how hard he studies, how many times he stays after school for extra help, he’ll never achieve the grades that seem to come so easy to his sister. This frustration then dampens his enthusiasm for school and the class, or classes, he struggles with the most.
What’s frustrating for us, as parents, is seeing this in our son, despite knowing what he can accomplish and searching for ways to help him over look test scores and focus on putting in effort, giving that extra above your best. Not to mention the constant pitched battle of getting an active teenage boy to spend more hours studying, despite the success he has had in other classes after extra study time.
We have high expectations of our kids when it comes to school. We expect them to put in more than the average effort and time, demand that their homework be done before entertainment and that if grades fall extra –curricular activities such as sports, video game time and friend time, will be limited. It’s what parents should be doing. Isn’t this part of the job description?
The frustrating reality is that in high school, test grades do matter, especially when it comes to getting into college.
As Ace got headed into freshman year, we pushed him harder to overcome some of his biggest challenges. As a kid with Dyslexia, literacy has always been the hardest subject; all the reading, summarizing, writing and analysis is a daunting prospect. Over the teacher’s objections and the administrations hesitancy, Ace took an Honors English class as a high school freshman. The teacher was informed of Ace’s Dyslexia and, after voicing her concerns about him being placed in her class, agreed to see how he progressed. To help him with the reading assignments, we made sure he had the Audiobook version of all his books as well, so he could listen to the cadence of the book, reinforce the rhythm of the language and further absorb the content of the book, all of which can be very difficult for him when he reads. He spent time after school with the teacher, he wrote and rewrote and rewrote essays before the final version made it to the teacher. He didn’t do all that well on his tests, but at the end of the class he got a B and the teacher’s opinion had done a complete reversal. She complimented him on his work ethic, on how involved he was in class, she told him, and us, that she wished she could have given him more one on one time because he was clearly a good student and wanted to learn. All of this positive reinforcement, recognition of the effort and what he learned in that class uplifted him. He read more after being in that class, dove into new books, and felt that he could master his dyslexia. This was a huge success for him.
He had the same experience in an Honors History class his first semester as a sophomore. The teacher worked with him, understood some of the struggles Ace encountered and made sure to give him the opportunities he needed to succeed, but didn’t go out of his way to make it easy for Ace. The expectations were the same, read the material, do the homework, participate in class. There were no allowances made, just an understanding of the issues and the offer of time and assistance when needed. Ace did well in the class, he learned the material, he liked and trusted the teacher, but again his test scores weren’t great. He would come home with a C on a test, pissed off because he’d
