E-Sexy Autumn. A time for hot mugs of coffee, pumpkin anything, lattes, whipped cream and for that matter, anything whipped.. So goes my observations of women and men, sitting with laptops, headsets, checking, forever checking their phones for that magical call, the superlative text message, rising above all other text messages. The one that brings smiles to the lips and eyes that glisten when they read the messages typed furiously while entering taxis, between trains stops and at traffic lights. A text is mastery of both dexterity, spontaneous thought and irreverent ideology. It can be done while sitting at a corporate meeting, while in restaurant with someone not too interesting or in some cases, the essence of distraction for the person who is wondering who is sending you a text at 10:30 at night, while you're out on your dream date. It is not always pleasant for the person watching, observing, wondering, why you are so distracted when you are clearly with the most interesting person that chose to sit with you, here in NYC. Why e-sex as a title? Mostly due to the nature of what is being said. The messages of smileys, flowers, emoji icons and the rest of the images that go along with the body of the message. The women exchanging texts with their male friends, in between the lines messages, clandestine words, stolen during the daytime routines..or the feeling that perhaps there is some degree of intimacy linked to the written word that once would have been written in long hand. They now appear instantly across the smart phone, the galaxy, the ipad, streaming live to an anxiously awaiting recipient, swift and surefooted words, catching one off guard or hyper vigilant awaiting and returning the witty and clever response. I know women who have several phones, one for business, others for texting, so that during their days at work, they carry messages from the men they slept with, are going to sleep with or hope to sleep with, all integrated into their busy workday. So is there a message to this madness? Is there a level of validity to the process? Is this communication a way of stating " I am a vital and engaging person and technologically driven?"Or am I so very lonely that a message across a screen will substitute for the reality of a held hand or a good night phone call in a lobby in midtown or in Brooklyn? As I practice as a clinician, the notion of how we communicate is essential. How we come across to those we are attracted to, want to attract or communicate with on a daily basis ( sometimes, minute by minute), is a very important matter. More important perhaps than the morning meeting. It's the tie that binds us to destiny. That being stated, please excuse me, I have to text a friend.
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