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Each year of life is a gift. Each year has its own music. Every year on my birthday, I find myself wondering, what gifts will this year bring? (I try not to anticipate the challenges. They will come and they will be faced. So far, I’ve been able to meet them and survive.)
Each year has its activities and events: music, family gatherings, holidays, visits to or from friends and family. Then, there are the everyday activities that one does almost by rote. Birthdays act as markers, sign posts along the way of one’s life. They must be acknowledged. A new year lies before you chock-full of delicious possibilities:
-A manuscript you’ve written could be accepted.
-An editor could read your blog posts and offer a book contract,
-Your two single friends might find love and commitment after longing for it so long.
-You just might hit the lottery in a big enough way to unburden your debts and achieve some dreams.
A woman who is 55 will never be 30 again, but she carries and celebrates her 30 year old self as she lives through her current age. Defining yourself by how you feel, what you do, how you live, and what you plan is important no matter your age. Owning your years means saying yes to yourself. What matters who says you can’t or shouldn’t do something or other if you say you can Ignore those who cajole you to “act your age.”
The blog, Advanced Style always lifts my spirits because it features photos of older people in sartorial splendor. (Anyone can contribute photos to this site.) The people on this site are vibrant, vivid, bold and unique. I visit this site at least once per week.
Another blog I visit frequently is Lilly’s Life. Lilly is irreverent and her posts are often laugh-out-loud funny. A make-up artist by profession and a young mid-lifer, she recently wrote a post called Au Naturale Injections that begins, “Dear Women of a Certain Age..” and goes on to discuss pros and cons of having cosmetic work. Lilly writes, “However, if ‘I do get work,’ you can be sure I won’t be lying about it.” She goes on to offer make-up advice for women of a certain age,
While reflecting on my recent birthday, I thought about the years that got away from me when I was essentially sleep-walking through life waiting for whatever the latest “it” was that I wanted to happen. At some point, I realized that I needed to “carpe the effin diem.” This caused me to pick up a book that helped kick-start me during the time of my sleep-walking – Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. Fears, some irrational, some tiny, some rooted in reality, were holding me hostage. This book liberated me by saying that I could be afraid and work through my fear.
I have also learned to feel good about the steps I take (I suddenly hear Sting singing) and efforts I make toward my goals even as certain dreams remain elusive.)
All of this reflection on the importance of each year has been primed by my recent birthday and my planning a surprise birthday for my Mom’s 7th Just 20 years ahead of me, my mother is my future and my past. Seeing her still spry, stylish, and feisty with the ribald younger woman she was surfacing through the gentler persona she’s assumed as the elder in our family is reassuring. Mom is embracing 75 and planning her outfit for the annual black and white ball she attends with as much passion as she did in those years when she would have designed and made the outfit herself!
So, yeah, I am embracing each day of this my 55th year, looking forward to each pleasure, each task, each possibility. The only alternative to being older is to be dead. Here’s to wearing out, not rusting out! (The women at MidlifeBloggers.com are full of advice and reflections of this marvelous time.)
