Just wanted to share my recent piece of writing as i am expereincing this unexpected phase of my life. Eventually such writings wil be posted on my blog - once it is up and running - but I'm still working on that.

Rx Clarity

Today felt a lot like
those times in our pre-courtship days

When you would bump
into me somewhere

On your way to doing
something

And I would think
that you had done that on purpose

because you wanted to
see me.

And I was really
happy to see you

And ready to stop
everything I was doing

To spend time with
you

But you really were
just moving through

On your way to do
something else.

I think I was a
little like some pretty scenery

Along the way.

It really was pretty
clear back then.

We just weren’t
wearing the right glasses.

Today felt a lot like
all those times after the honeymoon

When I would be in
the middle of doing something

And you were due home
soon

And I would be
thinking how you would want to help

So we could talk
together after it was done

Because after all you
were my partner

And you shared my
vision

And appreciated what
I had started

And how far I had
gotten

And didn’t want me to
finish alone

And then it would get
later and later

And I would keep
getting more and more done

And I would be
thinking

You would be home any
minute

And marvel at what I
had gotten done

Knowing how much
effort it had taken

And would want to
help me clean up

So we could talk
about my accomplishment together

But when you got home

You were still just
moving through

On your way to do
something else

Like the times I was
readying the baby’s room

And the times I was
redecorating one of the children’s rooms

Or the times I was
weeding the flowerbeds

Or the times I was
washing all the windows

Or the times I was
carving pumpkins

Or the times I was
making dinner

Or the times I was
cleaning up after dinner

Or the times I was
giving the kids their bath

Or the times I was
addressing Valentine’s for classmates

Or the times I was
cleaning the bathrooms

Or the times I was
cleaning the porch

Or the basement

Or our bedroom.

So many times I would
be anticipating

So many times you’d
just stop by

On your way to doing
something else

So many times I felt
empty and alone in your wake.

And today felt a lot
like that

As I was stripping
out the overgrown midsummer weeds

And even though you
are no longer with me

I still thought you
wanted to talk

And spend a little
time

Late and getting
later again

Damn! After twenty
three years.

Damn! If I still
don’t have

The wrong
prescription,

Even though the
loneliness

Is very clear.