Easy Apple Tart

The word "pie" elicits two very strong emotions from me.

On one hand, when I hear the rumblings of pie being thrown around in conversation, I immediately want pie in my mouth. Like, instantly. On the other hand, I think about how much trouble it is to make pie. Especially if you're going to do it right. And then I try to force the aforementioned thoughts of pie from my brain. It's a painful process, to say the least.

The other day, Shelton said he wanted to make apple pie. I actually groaned, can you believe that? Thank goodness he ignored me.

He went on to make the most delicious, simplest apple pie I have ever witnessed. I would liken it to watching Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel, or Einstein discovering E=mc2. It was that brilliant. Swear.

To make things even more awesome, he used fake butter and fake sugar and saved on a lot of calories. Score.

Enjoy the pictures - recipe is at the bottom!

Easy Apple Tart

You'll need:

  • ~2 cups chopped apples (a tart apple is the best, we used Galas)
  • dollop of butter
  • 1/3 - 1/2 cup sugar
  • spices (allspice, cinnamon, nutmeg)
  • 1 pie crust, thawed
  • 1 beaten egg, set aside
Note: Substitute ingredients as necessary... Just because the holidays are upon us doesn't mean that you have to use real sugar or real butter!


  • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
  • Put chopped apples, butter, sugar and spices in a medium saucepan on low heat. Low and slow, as Shelton would say.
  • Stir apples every few minutes. You want the mixture to be sticky and the apples to be soft. While they are sweating you can roll out your pie crust on a floured cookie sheet.
  • When the apples look good and taste like heaven, spoon them in a straight line in the middle of the pie crust. Shelton got fancy with his tart and cut slices on the sides (at an angle) and then alternated folding them to enclose the filling. You don't have to do that if you don't want to - feel free to just wrap the pie crust over the filling. (Make sure there are no large gaps.)
  • Brush the surface with the beaten egg and sprinkle on more spices and sugar for decoration.
  • Bake for about 10-15 minutes, or a little longer if the crust is not brown and beautiful.
  • Let cool for a few minutes (if you can stand it), before diving in, fork first.

-Sarah (on behalf of Shelton)