Eat A Frog A Day

You don't know how badly the evil genius in me wants that title to be, "Eat a bag of dicks a day."

I know. No need to escort me out, I know where the exit is...

Anyway, this is actually something that came up recently that has been life changing for me, and I hope I can pay it forward and it can be the same for you. You might have heard this as something like, "Do one thing that scares you a day," or whatever new agey way you can say it. Sure it's good advice and looks good on a lululemon shopping bag, but it's not really something you put into practice a day.

Do one thing that scares me a day? Like uh...wear a tube top? Test the perimeter of my ankle monitor? Poke a sleeping bear with a stick? WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

Then I stumbled across this ideology put a different way...

"Eat a frog a day."

Not literally, because...ewwww. But figuratively that speaks to me much more deeply than the lululemon shopping bag does. Do one thing that is horrible in your mind's eye a day. Shut up, do it, and get it over with.

Eat the frog! (This is where I start chanting, "Do it, do it, doooooo iiitttttttt!")

At first I was all defiant and like, "My whole life has been a steady diet of frogs lately, so no way. I'm full." But then I sat with this for a minute and all of a sudden the laundry list of things I consistently dread and avoid popped into my head. Make that phone call, write that article, you should probably see a dentist, there's something that smells like death in Tater's room you should probably investigate...some minor, some major, but there's a lot of frogs there that if they were just simply eliminated, I could have a lot less stress, and probably some great things coming my way. Imagine that.

It's all fear based anyway. You're afraid to make a dental appointment, because you're afraid of getting chewed out by the dentist (pun!) for procrastinating, you don't want to deal with the pain, and then because you've procrastinated, you're going to have a big bill to deal with. Right? Isn't that why we don't do it?

Then there are the major things you're scared of...what people think...the thing most of us SWEAR we don't care about, we probably care most about. That and the fear of failure. Think about how much shit you avoid in your life because you're afraid to fail at it? I'll just go ahead and keep my hand raised for a while.

Like this job I'm starting on Monday. I was a hot ass emotional mess about it. Here I was applying for what I thought were easy, steady jobs that would provide me with security, etc. I didn't get any calls back because here I thought all of the HR departments were Googling my name and having a good laugh with their coffee. "Oh this trick wants a secretarial job? Hell naw!"

Maybe that was happening, but really it was because I was applying for jobs that were not right for me and my experience. I had felt like such a failure as a writer, again for no good reason other than I knew I was going in the wrong direction creatively, and I had to ask for an extension on my manuscript to get through this life change. Who am I to apply for writing jobs? Why make myself feel even worse about this situation? Dunkin' Donuts is hiring. FOR SURE I can get a job there. And free donuts so I can continue to eat my feelings.

I was so down and out that day, I cooked up a frog for breakfast (figuratively, because ewwwww), and with every intention of failing and feeling even worse about myself, I applied for six writing jobs. All my dream job. Five contacted me that day. I was hired by one in 48 hours. Even after they Googled me.

I choked down that frog even though I was scared to death of more rejection and failure, and look what happened. Something good.

So put on your frog eatin' bib, belly up to the bar, and chow down. Call your mom, submit that resume, see the damn dentist already, free yourself of the stress of having it hang over your head, and maybe something good will happen. You always get a free toothbrush after a cleaning.


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