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Sparkle (1)
The Mister and I have always had a pretty accepting relationship, we have our bumps and struggles, and even separated for two years, about 12 years ago, but for the most part, we've always accepted each other for who we are.
Until recently. For the last few months, even before the threat of lay-offs loomed, I've been noticing, that even though we spend the same amount of time with each other, we're losing more and more "quality time". And by "quality time", I'm totally talking about our version of romance, which isn't really all that romantic.
Photo by Helga Weber.
Don't get me wrong, I'm a girl, and I do like to be romanced, but I've known our whole life together, that isn't who he is and I've suppressed my desire changed my perspective on the subject altogether, mostly. Plus, even without romance, passion has always been there.
But now, it seems like our lighter's running outta fluid. The little things that used to pacify my need for affection are starting to fade, and I tell him this, and I ask "what can I do to change it?" and I get "I don't know, things don't seem different to me".
Okay, whoa Bucko!
Six months ago we had a pretty healthy sex life: two, three times a week, give or take a time or two. I really had no complaints, but over the last few months it's dwindled down to only about once a week, and even more since we haven't had it in well, two weeks tomorrow. Ugh!
I know for certain he's not stepping out on me because:
A. No other woman on the planet could hand his high-maintenance. I mean seriously, you'd think he was an eighteen-year-old Beverly Hills debutante, sometimes.
B. We've already separated once, there's no fear in doing it again. If we wanted to be somewhere else, we would be.
C. I know his love for me hasn't changed, I still see a little bit of his shy charm (his super-power) just not so much lately.
The only thing that has really changed is our spark chemistry flame passion lust sex life.
Short of prancing around the house naked, or in a school girl outfit, (which would be hard to explain to the shadow kid) I've done a multitude of things to fuel the flame, sexy texts, dressing super cute, flawless-borderline trampy makeup, flirting with him, I've cleaned the house more (a total turn on for him), I've even all out pounced on him, and we still haven't had sex in two weeks, TWO WEEKS!!!
We've never gone more than a week, for as long as we've lived together, not even when we're mad at each other.
I get that he's stressed about possibly being laid off, totally get it, but we've had to struggle harder than this and still managed to keep the affection level pretty even, but holy rolo's, I'm starting to let the rejection get to me.
Did I mention I can be a total girl sometimes???
I do know, that just like everything else in life, this to shall pass, but dammit, I'm entirely ready for it to go! It's making me really bitchy. Well, even more so than normal, and not nearly as fun. Bleh! I'm tired of my own whining.
Think I'll go dancing tonight, maybe sing a song or two.
Rock n' Roll, hipsters, Rock and Roll!!
Marisa
