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Last month, I lost my job. My employer told me the company had a financial bleed, that the competition was fierce in our region, and because of the struggling economy, he could no longer afford to keep me on staff. Therefore, he axed my position. I was devastated. Not only because I loved my job, but also because my income contributed to my family's well-being.
After hearing this terrible news I was not only shocked, but quickly began to fear the unknown. I entered the workforce at 15 years old. In the last fourteen years, I've never been jobless. The money I made helped pay our bills. I didn't know how to tell my husband I was no longer employed. I didn't know if we could make it with just one income, especially with the economy as it is today.
We have a mortgage, we have utilities, we have student loan payments. We were doing our best to pay our debts and still save money for retirement, our son's college fund and a future dream vacation. No sooner than I entered the ranks of the unemployed I started thinking of luxuries we'd have to cut. Cable television? Gone. Internet access? See ya later. Cell phones? Out the window. The gym membership? Time to cancel. Dinner out a few times a month? Are you kidding me?
The sick feeling in the pit of my stomach plagued me for days. After crying and wallowing in self-pity, I obsessively scanned the want-ads and found absolutely nothing suitable for me.
There were numerous positions asking for an RN, LPN or CNA with a nursing degree. A lawyer was seeking a legal secretary with a Bachelor's Degree. Unfortunately, I never finished college because I couldn't afford it. There were openings for OTR truck driver's but I don't have a commercial driver's license. I considered working third shift in a factory, until I discovered that experience with a skill saw was required.
When I searched for the jobs that required no professional qualifications, I was quickly disappointed. No wait staff positions, no hotel housekeeping positions, nothing in retail. There were a few part-time openings for a local gas station but it was weekends only, something I couldn't do with a husband who works every weekend and no daycare available on Saturday or Sunday.
I applied for a position as a bank teller, only to discover the competition was overwhelming and the job was filled within seven days. I wasn't even called for an interview, but received a letter stating "at this time we chose a candidate with more experience in the workings of a financial institution."
It's discouraging to realize that I'm somewhat unemployable. I don't have the necessary skills for some jobs and others are not accommodating to my needs as a wife and mother. What's worse is the guilt I felt for not being able to fill even the few minimum wage jobs available.
In a way, I didn't believe I had the right to be picky, and I felt somewhat obligated to take the first job available just to bring home a paycheck. Even if it meant pawning off my son to my parents so that I could work 10 hour days on the weekend, I was prepared to do it. I didn't think I had a choice.
Of course, I filed for unemployment, but that turned out to be a grueling process. When I had to speak to the claims representative on the telephone I felt embarrassed about answering some of his questions.
This man wanted to know why I was out of a job and whether or not I intended to go back to work. He asked if my resume was uploaded onto the various employment websites like Monster.com and CareerBuilder. He informed me of the requirements that I had to meet, such as contacting two employers per week and filing a weekly benefit claim every Sunday. Should I fail to complete one of the requirements, I would no longer be eligible to receive unemployment benefits.
The first payment didn't arrive for two weeks and it was gone before I signed my name on the back of the check. Bills were piling up and my hair was getting grayer with every second I worried about my financial future.
This is what so many
