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I can't think any more today about the election. My brain is full. During this season of conventions and media debates, I have been a spiritual domestic goddess by day and a TV watcher by night. I bought a 9 cubic foot freezer. I have been buying vegetables and various freezeables for days now. My friends are asking me, "So, what did you do with tomatoes today?"
I am in a Harvest Frenzy. Like a good Massachusetts grasshopper, I am storing away for the winter, being frugal, and dealing with my anxieties by making things, providing for the future, immersing myself in the beginning of a New England autumn.
I used to can. Fast forward through 25 years in the NYC area and me getting rid of all my canning stuff. Now I freeze. A bushel of peppers,1/2 bushel of roasted plum tomatoes, eggplant caponata, gallons of spaghetti sauce, plain tomato sauce, squashes, eggplants, cantaloupe balls, chicken purchased in bulk quantity, babka bread freshly baked by nuns.
I am a preserving machine, going mindless as I dip tomatoes into a boiling water bath for a while. I don't miss a beat as I then remove them to the sink to peel them over a bowl, then toss them in a pot for later cooking.
I am alone doing this, thinking of nothing but this. I stop between rounds to say a prayer, make a phone call, have lunch, attend to the pooch.
I am obsessed --- I spend late hours on the computer looking up whether cabbage freezes well, easily. Apple sauce. Watermelon. Anything that is abundant and cheap at the farm stands, or given to me from friends' gardens. I have bunches of basil and rosemary drying on the porch. I dream about chutney.
This is beyond the normal. Something else is going on. These elections have me worried. I feel this election in a deep spirit way. It makes my world feel wobbly and uncertain. A lot is at stake, and our world seems less and less able to remain untilted after judgment errors. I recall how the world used to look up to the USA. This was seen as a magic place. We even had a wide margin for error. I love America, make no mistake about that -- but the world doesn't love us so much. And that scares me, because the world is getting angrier.
Pass the eggplant, please. I need to roast some. I need to do the familiar things. If I can get the freezer full enough, maybe there will be a good future.
I do not see myself as a nervous person. I am usually a doer, working my way through anxiety. Putting my head down and getting through it -- a solid sort in a crisis.
But the election is different. It feels like a crisis. The ante is upped in some deep way this time. I do not know anyone who is ambivalent about this election. They may dislike all the candidates, but they are not wishy-washy about it. Their souls are troubled, uneasy. They are sleeping too much/not enough -- eating less/more -- feeling swing shifts in what used to be predictablee life patterns.
And so I return to the familiar. My soul seeks an old rhythm so that I can feel comforted. The world, at least in my kitchen, is moving as it should.
The smells are familiar. I can hear my mother's echo in the background of history. I am using her sauce kettle. All this cooking is me connecting with the wellspring of women who can, who "put up food" -- who literally preserve in times of want.`
How are you holding up? Does this election stir your spirit differently from past elections? How do you notice that?
The sound of my peeler, whisking the peels off apples is a prayer-wheel, the blueberries are rosary beads, and the scent of oregano and garlic and marjoram is the incense that sweetens my sleep.
I lift my head from fruits and vegetables long enough to order some lawn signs for my candidate of choice. Then it's back to peeling and praying.
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Jennifer adds this postscript to her convention post:
Just like last week, I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, but they are NOT tears of joy...they are tears of panic and frustration and anxiety because this election is SO IMPORTANT and I can't believe that it's going to be a nail biter because to me this seems like a NO BRAINER (sigh), but like I warned
