- Share This Post
- submit
- 4
-
Sparkle (0)
According to a recent New York Times article, an increasing number of couples are choosing to elope rather than plan (and pay for) a wedding. Although the decision of how and where to get married isn’t one I’ll have to deal with anytime soon, the article intrigued me -- it’s nice to know that alternatives to traditional weddings are becoming more accepted as time goes on.
I seem to have reached a point in my life where weddings and engagements and recent marriages are all around me. I was a bridesmaid last fall in a friend’s wedding, and my younger sister just got engaged over Christmas (with a wedding tentatively scheduled for September). I also have a number of blogging friends who give updates on their wedding plans.
I know some people have a lot more of these wedding scenarios to deal with than I do. One of my female co-workers was invited to five weddings just last summer. She’s no longer living in her home state so she ended up not attending any of them, but she sent $50 gift cards to each engaged couple as a wedding gift. So compared to that, what I hear about is certainly not excessive...but the discussions are still there. And because I hear it, I realize that I’m starting to have opinions about what I would and wouldn’t want if I was in that situation.
I’ve never been the type of person to daydream about a huge wedding. Having an aversion to spending large sums of money (unless it’s going to something tangible and long-lasting, like a house) is a big part of it, but another big turnoff is all the planning. I’ve heard a number of people say, “I had no idea how much was involved with wedding planning until I got started.” I was talking to a newly-engaged woman not long ago, and while it was interesting to hear about the colors she’d picked out and her extensive hunt for just the right style of bridesmaid dress, I couldn’t help thinking to myself: “Not me. No way. No fun.”
I’m just not the type of person who enjoys extensive, in-depth, long-term planning. I also have a short attention span and limited patience for shopping. Choosing dresses, and flowers, and cakes, and venues? The thought makes me itch (as in, it doesn’t sound the least bit fun).
The thing is, though, I don’t mind listening if someone wants to tell me about their wedding-planning experience. It doesn’t take a lot of time to listen to a story or read about it in a blog post. I just don’t want to be the one doing the actual planning. If a bride-to-be wants to go on multiple shopping sprees to find the perfect dress, I’ll wait to hear the Cliffs Notes version. (FYI, this is also why I shouldn’t be asked to be a Maid of Honor. Again, I'm horrible and ambivalent when it comes to planning.)
Due to these reasons, I can totally see myself being the type of person who would elope. Screw the planning, screw the lists, screw the pomp and circumstance. If I were asked to picture an ideal getting-married scenario, here’s something nice that comes to mind: I’d grab my beloved, head to a deserted beach, and have a justice of the peace meet us there. I’d stand there, clutching his arm, not wanting to let go, not having to wonder or care if the train on my dress is straight or if my fancy up-do is coming undone. Then the official would leave and my man and I would go for a long walk in the surf in our bare feet.
Also, just because you’re eloping doesn’t mean you have to do without a celebration. In fact, the party could end up being more fun because everyone could be less formal and wear whatever they wanted. I know there are a lot of people out there who disagree with me (especially considering how many people I know who are in the midst of planning weddings, compared to the number of people I know who have eloped -- which is currently zero). I’ve been to some really beautiful weddings, and I’ve had a great time. Multiple people chipped in their time to make the experience a memorable one, and that’s how it should be.
I also realize that the
