I had no idea what happens when a 66 year old "widow" begins phone conversations with a 66 year old "widower"! It began with discussions about the deaths of our spouses. What we discovered was we were both completely comfortable talking about our spouses. That was a good feeling. Complete honesty. The conversations moved on to our current status with a bit of a review of our former relationship some 40 years ago, oh my! What I found most enjoyable was our laughter. Someone said laughter is the best medicine and I totally agree. All those chemical things that happen inside just bubble right up to the outside. Laughing is a wonderful feeling.
The phone conversations continued for several weeks. Remember, we live 630 miles apart. I was scheduled to make a trip back to my home town and wondered if I should even tell him. I felt a little nervous about it because I thought if we were in the same city, should we SEE each other? I decided to tell him and he suggested we get together. I agreed but my stomach was doing flip-flops. Forty years is a long time. I felt I would still be recognizable to him. I was still pretty with the addition of a few pounds and...40 years!!!! We had agreed to have dinner one of the nights I was in town. The night before our dinner "date" (can I call this a date?), I was having dinner with a girlfriend in another town about 40 miles away. When I got in my car to head back to my city, I sat there for a few minutes and wondered if I called him, would he agree to get this "first" meeting over with and join me for a beverage tonight? I thought that would make tomorrow night's dinner more relaxed. It is after all 2013 (at that time), so I sent him a text! I waited for a few minutes to see if he would respond and HE DID!!!! He agreed to meet me in 45 minutes at a lovely restaurant on the east side of town (close to both our neighborhoods). Oh my gosh! Here I am, getting ready to meet a man!
I got there first and was seated. Now the wait began. Would he really come? I sat facing the direction he would take to get to the table where I was sitting. In a few minutes, there he was! I would have known him anywhere. And he came right to me. We talked for a very long time. We shared stories of our lives with our spouses and shed a few tears. We also laughed a lot! We closed the place down then moved outside and sat for longer at outside tables just talking. Fortunately, it was a lovely evening!
It's very interesting the thoughts that ran through my mind. I thought how lovely it was to just talk to another man, one who seemed interested in what I had to say. Now since my husband died, I'd had plenty of conversations with men, but this situation was just different. The feeling, the atmosphere, the eyes, the body language, all of it! I also spent time looking at his arms and wondering what it would be like to be held in them. The thought of physical contact almost made me swoon!
We both began to slow down in our talking so I knew it was time for this evening to be over. He walked me to my car and then he took me in his arms. The hug was strong and sincere. He smelled so good. After a few seconds I started to release him and he said don't let go. So I didn't. Finally, we parted and I nearly cried. I had forgotten what physical contact could feel like. We said good bye and agreed on a time to meet for dinner the next night. I wasn't sure what I was doing but I did know it felt wonderful. Until tomorrow night...