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And I get this "advice" often. And it is always regarding my kids. Usually, I am struggling with a grocery bag, a screaming toddler and a preschooler who wants gum while I try to have one of these conversations - you know.... one of those, "I know" (but you don't, really - you are IN it - how could you possibly be getting sentimental or weepy over a period in your life that is currently kicking your ass? Yes - the two and / or three or four year old is cute, but... he / she also has a death grip on your hair and your thoughts are solely on how to get all the wild wee ones to the car without incident - NOT on how you should cherish this moment) - OR - "Yes - he's a feisty one. His brother is very different"(and as much as you WANT to hear advice on how kids are different and should be treated as such - and you REALLY do - I mean, I am not being snarky here - it DOES help to hear a "been there / done that" story from an older or more seasoned mother....again... it is the time - I NEED to hear it - I don't have TIME to hear it). Hard to connect - hard to gain PERSPECTIVE when you are in "survival mode" or constantly looking ahead - if I could just get through the dinner hour - if we could just get past the first few weeks of school.... Oh - you know what I mean; we all do it.
Yesterday, as I went about the after school errands with Enzo (as you know, I am trying to steal that elusive one on one time with him because he's the one who had to be a big brother when he was just a toddler and had to go to preschool so early just to get some "Enzo time" away from a wild younger brother, a busy grade schooler and the new baby) - after school pick up, coffee / hot chocolate (his call ;-), groceries, bank, etc. - I DID get the chance to talk a bit to a woman who admired Enzo's longish hair (to me, it looks short - he looks like a schoolboy now - not like my hippie preschooler) - and who admired what a good little helper he was (and I had just been freaking out that he was SIX - soooo old - so big) - and who told me, calmly and quietly this time (no wild toddler - no demanding preschooler) that THIS time in my life does not last long - this time with my sweet six year old is time to cherish because he is still so small - so trusting, dependent and ... yes.... little. We haven't lost time - we still have our Mommy and Enzo time - he still looks to me for everything - he is just beginning to branch out into friends and a proper schoolday and birthday parties and movies and a wee bit of independence. BUT he is still very much my little boy. Why, then, do I constantly try to psych myself out that too much time has passed - that I have let moments go unnoticed or, worse, that my little ones aren't little anymore?
I could worry myself to death with all my "OMG! Last year, Lil was only one - Milo three, Enzo JUST five and Olivia still in middle school; where HAS the time gone (because all that still sounds so young - JUST starting kindergarten - one barely old enough for preschool - another just a baby, really - and one definitely NOT in high school)?!?!" But the truth is.... it IS just one year later - we are still living, growing, learning and enjoying in the same space - the same timeframe - the same loving, crazy, cuddly life. So NOW the teen is officially in high school; I knew that was coming, AND I have been marveling for YEARS at how strong, focused, grownup and self-sufficient she and her friends are. This is truly nothing new - AT ALL. And.... Milo is totally a seasoned preschooler - no more baby there. Do I want the kicking, thrashing three year old who repeatedly kicked the preschool door until they let him out back? Not really. THIS is where we want to be - happy and settled - ready for new adventures.
