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Sparkle (0)
It was a dark and stormy night at the Castaway Bar and Grill. Mookie the bartender was polishing the beer into the counter top as he bounced to a remix of Baby Got Back and Feelings. You could hear the barflies drink gulps of regret as they caught threads of Twitter static. It gave me the creeps; watching them hope for redemption in the tweets of possibilities. And then she walked through the door.
I chunked my Psycho Berry smoothie as my client swung her swag. You could tell she had been around; the woman had logos on everything. Even her sunglasses had a slogan, "You can't hide from 3x Intensified Tide!" I felt a brain freeze coming on as she slid into my booth.
"McGuffin, right?"
"Yeah. How can I be of assistance?"
"I need help with my blog. I've made some mistakes, silly ones you might say. I need help in extricating myself from an unfortunate situation."
"Yeah." I smiled sarcastically. "I heard. People are talking. Go on."
The dame looked around as she leaned into the table, "Well, I don't want to be known as "that kind of blogger." I'm just a ..."
"Stop right there! I don't want to know any more about you than I have to. Let's cut to the chase, sister. I've seen your blog. It ain't horrible, I've seen worse but yeah, you need to get a grip. Your content is all over the place. You've been mixing factual and sponsored content like scrambled eggs. From the look of the logos you flash on your blog I'd say you’ve been spending extra bonus time with PR, haven't you?
"I got caught up with some action, I might have technically crossed a line or two but I'm here, right? I want to do better. I'm ready to listen."
I sucked up some smoothie as I passed her the folder.
"So you say. Let us begin, shall we?"
Content – Roll Your Own
"First off, I don't want you sponging content from other people’s blogs or companies. You cut that crap out now, you hear me? It is ok to quote, but you've lifted whole chunks of stuff. 'Taint kosher. Plus, others are getting wise to the game. People in the know can punch a phrase into a search engine and surprise, fifty posts show up with the exact same words. Spammy, if you ask me."
"So in the future I would not expect to see canned content on your blog. My sources tell me that there is a new web-based application, something called Attributor, that can track wayward post back to the Mothership looking for copyrighted content. It would be unfortunate if you was bit financially by a spider."
I showed her the printout from FairShare. Her lips trembled a bit.
"I want you to read WashWords 5 Old News Secrets to Make A New Blog Sing to help you write good content and stay on the good foot. You will also read Lisa Braziel's 6 Steps to Develop Content for Social Media Campaigns, only you will exchange the word 'blog' for 'company.' I also want you to soak up some of Copyblogger's post on A Three-Step Approach to Strategic Content Development."
"Jeeze, that's a lot of reading, but yeah, anything to get the heat off. I’ll do it, sure -- no problem."
Respect Your Adversaries and Competition
"Next, you will no longer refer to people you disagree with as a rectal hernia waiting to happen. You don't have to love them or even like them, but you do have to come from a place of respect. Now, I do not say this lightly. Notice this dent upside my head. Besides, you need them."
"I don't need those heifers. Always popping their chops. They are jealous biddies sticking their nose in other people’s business. What do I need them for?"
I manage to suppress my natural desire to re-align her bridgework. "I'm hooking you up with Joella at Blog With Wings. I want you to read her post on studying your competition; what they do well and what you do better. I also want you to read her post on writing in a conversational style because frankly when you do write it sometimes has the taste of three-day-old toast. You ever try to eat three-day toast?"
"All right, I get your point. Go along to get along, right?"
"Wrong! I said respect, not self-sacrifice. Object to the idea, not the person. Explain why you think it is a bad idea without questioning heritage, birthright or
