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I am an Intuitive Life Coach, writer, yoga instructor, and mother of three teenage boys. As a life coach, I use my intuition, expertise, and empathic...
 
 
 
 

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Every Breath You Take

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Month of Little Steps to Health FitessJanuary is BlogHer's Month of Little Steps to Health & Fitness, and we want you to share your favorite easy health tip! Click here to see how to play along. And check out all the tips so far in the Month of Little Steps to Health & Fitness series.

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"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
Martin Luther King

This is one of my favorite quotes, because at first glance, it's about faith. But it's also about tStaircaseaking small steps forward, even if sometimes those steps seem SO small that it may not really matter...but they do.

In yoga, we talk about continually making tiny, incremental adjustments...so small that even someone watching you may not be able to detect the changes (e.g. a microscopic adjustment in a deep muscle in your core, an internal shift of your weight slightly forward). It's these little adjustments that become the steps to an entire staircase of change.

About a month ago, two of my fellow yogis separately commented on how beautiful my yoga practice had become since the last time they had seen me. I knew that it wasn't one big leap forward that had changed my practice, but a series of baby steps along the way...both on and off the mat. And even though they were commenting about the "ON the mat" part of my practice, I realized that my "OFF the mat" changes were equally, if not more important.

Me, Bryce and my Mom: three generations of Warriors.Sometimes yoga's impact on my life is more obvious than others. Last fall, my twins, Bryce and Ryan (14), helped me to realize how the incremental changes in my yoga practice had impacted my "OFF the mat" existence in a positive way. Here's what happened:

I picked up my twins, Bryce and Ryan and their friend, Charlie, from his house. My "taxi service" had been summoned to deliver said teenage boys to "open gym" at a nearby gymnastics location. The cost was $10 per kid.

Just two hours before, my sons had called me from school to see if it was OK to go to Charlie's to hang out -- and, "Yes, Mom, his mother is home."

So why, just moments after all three of them got into the car, was Bryce asking me if I could spot Charlie $10 to get in to open gym?

We were just a half a block away from Charlie's house, so I said, "Let's just turn around and he can get the money from his mom."

LONG PAUSE...."Um...his Mom isn't home..." Bryce stammered.

"They lied to me..." I thought, as anger and irritation started to flare up. "I thought you said Christy was home," I said, beginning to breathe more deeply.

Tentatively Bryce said, "But if we told you she wasn't, you wouldn't have let us go."

RIGHT. One of our rules is that a parent needs to be home when the boys are at a friend's house.

Then I got the teenage line, "Mom, if you trusted us more, we wouldn't have to lie."

Does that sound convoluted to you too?

I then notice that my breathing began to deepen...in and out my nose, making an oceanic sound at the back of my throat...just like we practice in yoga. We refer to it as our "ujjayi" breath, which means "victory." It is at the heart of my warm power yoga practice -- deep inhalations and deep exhalations through the nose, through each of the asanas throughout my practice.

Bryce noticed my change in breathing too.

"I hate it when you breathe like that," he said. "It sounds like you're really mad."

I was mad, but that wasn't why I automatically went into my deep breathing. My deeper breathing calms me, grounds my energy and helps me to stay present.

Instead of reacting (which might result in angry words, saying things I don't mean and may regret, etc.), I breathe in and out slowly, taking a few minutes to absorb what's happening and, then I respond.

By responding instead of reacting, I have more time to process what's happening. I feel more grounded (even though Bryce and Ryan's interpretation is that I sound mad).

The ujjayi breath is just one aspect of my yoga practice. It's one small but continuous movement, that helps me both on and off my mat.

When I first started this

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CoachWithSheri 5 pts

TamiD -- I liked your comment about how we are led to believe that, "if you seek a massive change in results, it requires a massive change in habits." It's that belief that keeps people stuck.

It reminded me of the navigation example where if you want to get from point A to point B, but are slightly off in the beginning(even just 1 degree), how you'll miss your target/destination by hundreds of thousands of miles.

Small changes can lead to HUGE results...whether it's deeper breathing, making small changes in your diet, or navigating your way from New York to Florida.

As for Bryce and Ryan's fate...they ended up with consequences to help them remember their lesson about telling the truth and building and keeping our trust.

They didn't get to go to the gym that day and were unable to hang out with their friends for the rest of the week. To teenagers, not having contact with their friends can feel like torture (which usually helps them to remember the lesson and make better choices next time).

Next time do you want me to send them over to clean your house? :)

Coach With Sheri…Living on Purpose Through Life Coaching
( http://www.coachwithsheri.com/ )

TamiD 5 pts

I've always liked a similar quote, but have only recognized the faith needed to take the steps. I never realized the importance of being willing to take steps, no matter how small.

So often we are led to believe that if you seek a massive change in results, it requires a massive change in habits. But, like your breathing, sometimes it requires only a small, yet consistent change.

Brilliant, Sheri! Maybe I'll find a small change that over time will clean up my house. Or improve my relationships. Or add to my retirement. Or ...

BTW, what happened to Bryce and Ryan?

CoachWithSheri 5 pts

Luz -- You made what I believe is a VERY important point..."one step at a time."

I notice with myself (and with my life coaching clients), that it's easy to want to be "there" (which may be 25 steps down the line), and forget that there are 24 steps in between "here" and "there."

"One step at a time." That is the key.

Coach With Sheri…Living on Purpose Through Life Coaching
( http://www.coachwithsheri.com/ )

Lavender Luz 6 pts

This sounds like an easy way to remain calm and conscious in times of stress.

Now I just have to remember to practice it. One step at a time, right?

Thanks for this, Sheri!

Write Mind Open Heart ( http://www.writemindopenheart.com/ )...yin-yanging my way.@LavLuz
Examiner ( http://tinyurl.com/oaexaminer )for Open Adoption.
( http://twitter.com/LavLuz )