Every Mom Needs to Know They Matter

you matter

It was at the end of a very long day filled with refereeing bickering children, serving a dinner no one wanted to eat, making a child redo their sloppy homework, taxi driving three kids who had to be at three different places at the same time, being the recipient of eye-rolling when natural consequences were taken place, not to mention the other daily household chores when I buried my head in Mr. C’s chest and confessed through my tears that I felt irrelevant.

He listened as I rambled on about how I was no different from hired help, except I don’t get paid. I went on and on about no one caring and no one listening, no one. It was a cry he has heard many times since we became parents. Only this time he stroked my hair, saying nothing, and let me cry it out.

When I was finished he took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes and told me in no uncertain terms that I do matter. What I do and who I am matters. I wiped my tears and sheepishly said, “I know.”

The truth is I really do know I matter. In fact I have spent countless days reassuring new moms that they matter too. I often tell other moms the repetitiveness of their every day builds the foundation for their child’s character. You may not see it now but eventually you will see the fruit of your tireless mothering.

Think about how many times you have to or had to tell your toddler to say please or thank you. Remember the time they said it without your prompt? Success! The thing about motherhood is it is never-ending. For that reason we often don’t take the time to pause to appreciate all of our successes along the way.

That night I went to bed and confessed my feelings to the Lord. I asked Him to reassure me I am on the right track with this whole motherhood thing and if I am not to redirect me. He told me to open my eyes and pay attention because my fruit is in full bloom (Just so we are clear, I did not actually hear God speak but hearing the Holy Spirit is a totally separate and different kind of post.)  As always, He was right.

Later that week my daughter came home from a day of AIMS testing at school. She loved this particular day because it was the writing test. She was excited because the writing prompt was to select someone who has influenced your life.

In a very nonchalant way she said, “Of course I picked you mom.” In shock I responded, “You did!?” She smiled and shook her head yes and scrunched her eye brows with a look that said, “who else would I pick?” and then asked what was for after school snack. I. Matter.

On another night, at the ball park, our oldest daughter came back to the stands from a trip to the snack bar, holding her sister’s hand and reports, “Mom, you would have been so proud of Kailey! She looked the lady in the eyes and asked if she could please have {insert sugar filled treat} and then said thank you when the lady handed it to her. She said it loud and clear and I didn’t even have to tell her to!”

Kailey had an ear to ear smile as she listen to her sister brag about her. She looked at me and said, “I said it just like you taught me mom!” I. Matter.

Just the other day, Kailey came home from school excited to tell me all about playing four square with the fourth graders. I asked how a first grader like herself managed to get a group of fourth graders to play with her and she said, “Easy. Kaiden (her brother) told then to play with me.”

She looked around to see if her brother was near and then whispered “Mom I really like it when Kaiden plays four square too because he tells all the other kids not to hit the ball too hard or fast at me.” I told her she had the best big brother in the world. She made a squirmy face and said, “I know…”

For the record, this is the same brother who makes her cry more times than I can count in a day requiring me to lecture him on the importance of being a big brother. I. Matter

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