Everyone Is Hanging Out Without Me!
Dear Mouthy Housewives,
For the past year, I've been going to a regular morning class at the gym. There are usually 10 or so of the same women in the class, plus the same teacher. I'm friendly to everyone and we all know each other's names, but I've noticed that they all seem to get together outside of class and never invite me. This morning they were all talking about some cake they ate this weekend, so obviously they had another party and didn't invite me.
I don't necessarily even want to socialize with them, but it bothers me when they chat about something I'm not included in. Should I say something or just ignore it?
The Girl With The Least Cake
Dear Girl With The Least Cake,
Listen, I understand where you’re coming from. You’re working out every morning with these ladies, pretending you're biking up a steep hill, or pretending you're signing up for the army, or pretending you’re a tree, and everyone is polite enough to say "Hello" or "Namaste," but at the end of the day (er, the class), you’re feeling left out because these ladies actually hang out with each other outside of the gym, and they are talking about all the fun things they do together -- without you -- right in front of your face. That does sound kinda rude.
Did they all meet at the gym, or are they a group of pre-existing friends who all decided to work out together? If it’s the latter, you really shouldn’t feel bad about this situation, and they probably don’t even realize that when they start laughing at inside jokes, or moaning over that cake and how awesome it was (it really was sooooo amazing!), it’s making you feel like a total loser. It’s annoying, for sure, but just roll your eyes and pedal faster.
But, listen. It goes both ways. If these chicks seem like people you might want to hang with, there’s nothing stopping you from saying, “Hey, does anyone feel like grabbing a coffee?” after class one day. Chances are, they will say yes. Although, I say this without knowing how you dress for your workouts. If you’re sporting the “Let’s Get Physical” look, you might want to rethink that a bit.
If all else fails, you can embrace that great Grouchp Marx quote: "I don't want to belong to any club that would accept me as a member."