My Blogging Journey: Getting Lost To Be Found

Syndicated

Many moons ago—when my baby was not a 3-year-old pre-school attendee who has successfully stopped saying "fuck" & now says "fudge"—but a tiny 5-month-old, I decided I should start a blog. I remembered one day while sitting on my sinking couch that I once had a blog that I enjoyed writing on. And so I decided I should be a mommy blogger.

I spent about a week coming up with a name for my blog because I wanted it to be really great. Thus "Before The Baby Wakes" was born. It was all "trying to get it all done....dun, dun, dun. BEFORE THE BABY WAKES". Then the more I thought about I realized that I spent a lot of time yelling at my husband asking him to turn down the music dun, dun, dunBEFORE THE BABY WAKES.

For the first year I would say that my blog sucked. It was my daily mothering drivel. I was telling you rather then showingyou about my day as a mother. It was all kinds of "And then Phoenix crawled, and then my husband said, and I was all" drivel. Even I was bored with it by the time I hit publish.

Then I started reading more blogs & seeing that most of the successful bloggers I liked had serious series & themes. They had recipes & tutorials {which I embarrassingly pronounce too-da-roll. Yeah. I know. Shove it.}. They reviewed books & toys. It was like the June Cleaver of Mom Blogs. And that's what I wanted to be. But I struggled with it because it just wasn't me.

And then I participated in my first Ultimate Blog Party & while quickly writing up my welcome post I think I stumbled on my voice. This was confirmed when comments poured in about how funny I seemed. I called my husband and told him "I think I'm funny. I think I should do funny".

Then after that I found fashion blogs & outfit post & I was hooked & I thought I could do that & so I thought I could make myself a little bit more of a fashion blogger. But as much as I would be homeless for a lot of clothes I still wipe butt {not plural because that would mean I wipe my husbands & I'm not submissive like that} for a living so a lot of days no matter how glamorous I might think I am, I don't get out of yoga pants & Old Navy tees.

cliffside shot

Credit Image:Antonia Picascia via Flickr

And then I went to BlogHer & I had so many people asking me what I blogged about & it went something like "Well I guess I'm a Mom Blogger, but I don't always talk about mom stuff. I also do fashion when I get dressed, & then I do funny maybe. But I also have started writing, like real writing, & then sometimes its just random stories from when I was a long-dress-wearing-Bible-school-student."

I spend days upon days trying to come up with stuff that makes me seem as cool as MODG, as fashionable as Maegan, as crafty as Natasha, as funny as Jenni, & as Mom blog authority-ish as Jill, but I never seem to really get there. So I decided to take a break & here I am almost a month into my break & no closer to the "aha!" moment of inspiration that I thought I would be.

I try to remember that blog success can take years, I try to remember that success looks different to everyone. I try to remember that 15 comments are better then none. I try to remember that if you build it they will come, but other times I don't always remember that and I find myself feeling emotionally & creatively depleted.

Right now. Today. I feel that I need to do something drastic. I even contemplated a name change, but that would mean the 100 plus business cards I still have would be a waste, I'd have to change my email address & Facebook page & even if the success doesn't look the way I want it to I risk having to start over by doing that. Plus I don't even know what I would change the name too. {Thoughts on changing my blog name?}

My drastic change needs to be one or both of these things. 1) I remember why I started blogging & writing in the first place. I remember to just write what I want when I want how I want & I just go hard & if no one comes (hehehehehe) then so be it. Or 2) I just continue doing what I'm doing  I was sitting here writing this jumbled up statement when I clicked over to Pinterest & found the picture* below.

And I realized that's exactly what I need to do. I'm going to get lost in my writing, I'm going to get lost in being a mother{which shouldn't be too hard}, I'm going to get lost at being a blogger & what comes out is what comes out. But I think if I do that I'll end up right where I should be. 


*There was no source linked to this picture so I linked it to this post. If this belongs to you please let me know so I can link it back to you. Not trying to be sued over no copy-right infringement shit. 

  


Alex writes at Before The Baby Wakes, tales from a young mom that are somewhat always true & somewhat always loud. Also follow my mini-blog post on Twitter.

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