Excellent Advice from Cartoon Princesses: "Have Friends Smaller Than You So You Can Control Them!"

i think everyone needs to chill out. their just cartoons. a child doesn't think about cartoons like that. its fun make believe that soon they grow out of. if you child is effected that much by cartoons someone is watching way too much t.v. and there needs to be more parenting. plus in the story of say Belle you don't know if after she married the beast that she did travel the world, they were royalty.

Videos such as these annoy me to no end. I grew up watching these movies, and as a child I understood that they weren't real. I'm not a pushover, nor am I an uneducated bimbo. I don't hate my appearance or let my husband use or abuse me either. Where was my negative result from watching these cartoons?

Do you know why a young girl would have no self esteem, a lack of academic motivation and confusion regarding healthy romantic relationships? Because she had morons for parents. It doesn't matter what you do or don't see on television, what video games you play or what kind of music you listen to. What matters is having a set of parents who give a crap about your wellbeing and make a sincere attempt to give you a fair start in life.

I just get so tired of people blaming media sources (instead of themselves) when their kid doesn't fare well in life. I remember everyone having a cow over the DOOM games and Marilyn Manson when the school in Colorado was shot up. This is along the same vein in my eyes.

My 6 y/o daughter recently informed me (while perusing for Halloween costumes, actually), that she is done with the Disney Princesses.

Insert "sigh" of relief.

She then continued "But I'm totally into Barbies."

I think like PP stated, much of this has to do with critical thinking and discussion with the kids. I'm pretty open with my opinions about the princesses and the barbies, and I do not go out of my way to purchase anything for her.

She also decided to press her luck and ask me when she could like Bratz dolls.

I told her never. Ha. Then explained why I didn't like them.

From your comments I've gotten the vibe that you are feeling very defensive over the whole Princess thing. As you said, you have a niece raised on Princesses, and perhaps you were as well, or if you have daughters they are. I don't know you. But I do know from your tone that you think Disney is being attacked. I think I can speak for the OP that this is simply not the case. Nothing, and no ONE, is being attacked. This is all simply an observation.

And as far as you being a "small town hick with brain damage" I find that incredibly laughable. You seem very well versed and simply very passionate. Your defensive tone doesn't do you justice.

But these are just the thoughts of a fellow small town hick trying to raise a daughter as well. ;-)

As long as you talk to your kids about what they see I don't think you need to stop them watching the Disney Princess films or other media that contains messages you don't agree with. I don't have kids, so I'm no expert, but I don't generally believe in sheltering children from things you don't want them to hear. It's more important that you teach them to think about things (and not necessarily to think the way you do, but just to think for themselves). Parents have a smaller impact on their children than what they like to think and you will never stop them from seeing or hearing about things you don't like. The best thing you can do is simply your job as a parent in the most basic, natural sense: teach them to be independent.

I don't know but maybe me, my friends and female relatives were small town hicks with brain damage but we never fell for it. Not to that extent. Those of us with bad relationships have them because of other influences in our lives. Influences like drunken abusive parents. I think you're giving the princesses too much power.

You're right in saying they reflect our culture's poor perception of women. But it's a little much to say they caused it. The poor treatment and perception of women has been around since the beginning, mass media has not.

I'm not saying you all are wrong in that we shouldn't perpetuate this perception. I'm just saying that I think you're starting the finger pointing in the wrong place. Changing peoples perceptions will eventually change the media that reflects them.

As for gender roll stereotypes; my niece lived and breathed princesses, thanks to her mom, and all it took was one viewing of Batman and suddenly she was all about being the rescuer, the heroine. She has been brought up, so far, to be strong and independent.

So like I said, attacking cartoons as a first resort is being blind to any and all other influences in the world.

Jen shares her life of special needs with a special needs child at Different But determined ( http://differentbutdetermined.com/ ).

One story is just a story.

An on-going collection of stories is a commentary about culture. To think that our daughters are not a part of that commentary or that they're not hearing the underlying messages is to ignore the impact of pop culture in general. I don't think Deb was blaming the Princess-laden nonsense for womens' woes any more than it was really Beavis and Butthead's fault that a boy set that house on fire. But the fact is that these messages aren't just thrown at our girls once. Or twice. It's repeatedly. And it's ridiculous.

Contributing Editor Jenna Hatfield (@FireMom ( http://twitter.com/FireMom )) blogs at Stop, Drop and Blog ( http://stopdropandblog.com ) and The Chronicles of Munchkin Land ( http://thechroniclesofmunchkinland.com ). She is a freelance writer and newspaper photographer.

I agree, it's more important to talk about them that to try to (heh) villify the Princesses. I love her read on the reality of the myths!

Deb Rox

3 Smart Girlz ( http://www.3smartgirlz.com/ ) consulting

Blog ( http://www.debontherocks.com/ ) like a freaking butterfly, sting like a Tweet. ( http://www.twitter.com/debontherocks )

Interesting comparison, and a testament that it IS possible to enjoy good entertainment while bypassing what doesn't support your values for your daughters.

Deb Rox

3 Smart Girlz ( http://www.3smartgirlz.com/ ) consulting

Blog ( http://www.debontherocks.com/ ) like a freaking butterfly, sting like a Tweet. ( http://www.twitter.com/debontherocks )

We don't watch a lot of television and we don't watch the princess movies AND my daughter still has absorbed some of these ideas into her world view. She is now five and seems to be thinking more critically about all of this (with a little help) and she recently chose to give away her only princess book (Cinderella that she picked up as a prize at some party). I wanted to make sure that it was her choice and not something she was doing to please me and she said, "It's just not very realistic mom." She gave it away and never looked back - I'm taking this as a sign!

I grew up without Disney Princess. I was really blessed to have a set of parents who caught onto the uber creepiness of the Princess stereotype very quickly. Sure, I've seen plenty of the Disney flicks but they weren't staples at my house. No Disney Princess themed rooms or Disney Princess Barbies for me. Did it make a difference in my life as opposed to my peers? Well, maybe.

Take for example a dear friend of mine who practically nursed on Disney Princesses. As a grown woman she is married to a controlling and emotionally manipulative man that she won't leave...she gave up her hopes and dreams to be with him...she thinks about leaving him every day but wont because she "loves" him...and the real kicker...she isn't even allowed to have children because HE isn't ready for children and after all...it's all up to how the man feels.

My marriage and my life on the other hand could not be more different. I have never dated and would never have married a controlling or abusive man. My husband is my equal and my friend. We didn't fall madly head over heels in love with each other upon first sight. We were friends with the same outlook and ideals that made an educated and well thought out decision to spend our lives together. He encourages me to pursue my passions and sense of independence and if he didn't, I'd do it anyways because my life does not revolve around just him. Had I been nursed on Disney Princesses I'm not sure I'd have been the kind of woman he'd have been interested in. And that would have been a tragedy.

We have a daughter and I am happy to say she's never seen a single Disney Princess movie. We do own Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc but obviously those are NOT Princess movies and I'm okay with the messages those send. I believe I am making the best decision for her. And if my life is any example of what can go right when you raise your children without the Disney Princess infusion, then I am unafraid for her future and her womanhood.

P.S. Sorry for such a long comment! I think I got a bit carried away!

If you think they're not absorbing those messages, I invite you to spend several hours with three-year-old girls. You may have some, I don't know, but I have had lengthy talks with my girl and her friends about how really ridiculous the fairy tales are.

Little girls watch those movies, and they want to be saved. Little boys watch Superman and want to save. I do believe we have to be very aware of what kids absorb and how we can empower both sexes to think for themselves from the get-go instead of having to unlearn messages that clearly persist for a lot of women.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.

I think it's two things, foremost that the stories reflect cultural values that are all ready in place, which is how it can be popularly received. I don't think Ariel (or the Hans Christian Anderson story Disney retooled to create her) invents the idea that you should change your uniqueness to get your guy, but it certainly reflects that cultural message. Secondly, then, by being consumed as mass media, it reinforces what it reflects. Lots of things don't cause problems but do reinforce them, and I want to at the very least be mindful about those messages as a parent. Horror films don't cause children to become mass murderers, either, but that doesn't mean they are great entertainment choices.

Deb Rox

3 Smart Girlz ( http://www.3smartgirlz.com/ ) consulting

Blog ( http://www.debontherocks.com/ ) like a freaking butterfly, sting like a Tweet. ( http://www.twitter.com/debontherocks )

One thing I learned when looking into the story behind Disney version Beauty and the Beast is that the company had wanted to make the story for decades but felt the story was too brutal in the 50s, but by adding music and dancing household appliances they successfully made it acceptable. I just wonder if some of the success is because of the general love of Disney products. While I am interested in the symbolic messages of the fairytale as an adult I just can't imagine trying to explain the murder/imprisonment/love themes to a child.

Deb Rox

3 Smart Girlz ( http://www.3smartgirlz.com/ ) consulting

Blog ( http://www.debontherocks.com/ ) like a freaking butterfly, sting like a Tweet. ( http://www.twitter.com/debontherocks )

I'm sorry but sometimes a cartoon is just a cartoon. When have you ever heard a battered woman say; "well Belle made it look like it was all a fairytale and we would have a happily ever after" or a woman addicted to cosmetic surgery say; "all of Ariel's dreams came true when she changed herself for her man, I thought mine would too".

I'm going to venture a guess and say that there are more significant sources of influence in young people's lives then some cartoons they watched as a kid.

Growing out of princesses is a great sign--and sadly it doesn't universally happen, even on into adulthood. A real beach theme instead of a fake-Ariel-who-isn't-a-mermaid-anymore room, that a girl!

I complain about Belle trading in her dreams of seeing the world, for a library full of books and a murderer (yes, he did kill Gaston.) What kind of message is that! Most women say, "You think to much."

Think again!

(So happy to see I'm not alone.)

Adela

Blogging at:

www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com ( http://www.oncealittlegirl.wordpress.com )

and

www.theblacktortoise.com ( http://www.theblacktortoise.com )

I am so, so thankful this year my six-year-old has finally authorized me to remove the dreaded princesses from her room and redo it with the beach theme I had in her nursery.

I struggle with these damn princesses and their decidedly outdated, unfeminist themes. I love the way you've deconstructed it here.

Rita Arens authors Surrender Dorothy and is the editor of Sleep is for the Weak. She is BlogHer's assignment and syndication editor.