Facebook and family etiquette
by landismom

So I was talking to my mom on the phone this morning, and she was complaining (as she often does) about how one of my brothers (D) hasn't sent her any pictures of his kids in 2 years, despite the fact that she's constantly emailing him to ask for them. There was a moment where I almost said the following: "You should sic Z (another brother) on him. Z was the one who finally got D to put up a picture on his Facebook profile."

And then I thought, is it wrong to 'out' my brothers (and myself) for having Facebook profiles to our mom? Will they feel weird about this? Will I have to spend a bunch of time telling my mom what Facebook is? and hey, what's on my Facebook page that I wouldn't want her seeing (probably nothing).

I have an anonymous parenting blog, which no one in my family knows about (or at least, if they do, they're polite enough not to tell me). If one of my brothers were to find out about it, I certainly wouldn't want them telling my mom about it, since one of the things I've done on my blog is complain about her, from time to time.

While I don't think that my brothers complain about my mom on their Facebook pages, they may be writing up stuff that they don't want her to read. Z is young enough (and single enough) to still have social conversations about parties and things like that on his page.

It's not like any of us are hiding--we all use our full names, so she could find us, were she to join Facebook and enter into the crazy world of Web 2.0. But what's the etiquette on revealing a friend or family member's online existence to others -- including people in that person's own family?

Posted In

Comments

 

Tough question

I'm pretty easy to find online, that doesn't really mean I want anyone in my family to help someone else in my family find me - at BlogHer, on my blogs, or on Facebook. So, I'd probably keep quiet about it. Probably.

~Denise
Fast Times @ Homeschool High & Flamingo House Happenings

 

yeah

that's what I figured

 

I left my dad in limbo for

I left my dad in limbo for about a week when he added me. I just wasn't sure if I wanted my privacy and my life laid bare like that. But really, what are you gonna do, reject your dad's friend request? So I finally added him. I'm not too thrilled with it, though.

 

it's working for our family with a rule or
two...

Members of my family discussed very directly and decided to just go for it.  We (dads, cousins, auntie (me), neices and nephews are spread far and wide so Facebook gives us a good way to share pictures and keep up with each other.  I've even introduced some cousins who met when little and have reconnected (happily) after 15 years.   There is one problem - a couple of neices asked that we NOT tell their mother, my ex-sister-in-law about the Facebook profiles or connections.  It was their request not our insistance.  We're not evil people but this woman is very manipulative and really medelsome with the girls so we help protect their privacy. 

 

Lynn PO